LOS ANGELES—Once people started showing up and the traffic cops fucked up the evidence, the once-cool alley was rendered totally lame.

WASHINGTON, DC—The counter-inauguration protests held in Washington Wednesday were one person short of success, analysts reported Thursday.

WASHINGTON, DC—As the nation approaches the one-year anniversary of the Super Bowl XXXVIII tragedy, an FCC study shows that millions of U.S. children ...

AMARILLO, TX—In spite of the George Jones cover band and the Porterhouse steak dinner, the Lifeloc FC-10 Portable Breath Alcohol Tester was the hit ...

SAN BERNARDINO, CA—Aspiring porn screenwriter Dick Shavers said Monday that he wrote his script Blonde Rambition for Czech-born actress Sylvia Saint. "Sylvia's an ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Executives at the car-insurance company GEICO learned Monday that they could slice 15 percent or more from their operating budget by discontinuing their ...

ROCHESTER, MN—Dr. Erich Stellbrach, a general practitioner at the Mayo Clinic, could barely contain his exhilaration Monday upon discovering that patient Oliver Patterson, 54 ...

LEXINGTON, KY—Ty Crandon and Wesley Sandino realized Tuesday that they haven't seen roommate Joel Kramer in, like, five days. "Dude, have you seen ...

The European Space Agency landed the Huygens probe on Saturn's largest moon, Titan , on Jan. 14. What have scientists discovered?

This Thursday, you'll find out that being nibbled to death by ducks is not merely an elaborate figure of speech.

After a delay caused by Congressional Democrats, Condoleezza Rice will be confirmed as Secretary of State this week. What do you think?