Veteran Who Stormed The Beach At Normandy Still Getting Laid Because Of It

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Issue 4142

MLB Introduces Todd Zeile Award For Participation

MILWAUKEE—In recognition of Todd Zeile, who took an active part in over 2,000 games while playing for 11 different teams, the MLB commissioner's office has dedicated an award in his name, to be presented annually to honorary participants in America's pastime.

Hussein Trial Developments

This week, Saddam Hussein began his first trial before an Iraqi tribunal, where he faces charges of an alleged 1982 massacre. What are some early developments in the trial?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach: