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Issue 4150

Onion Sports Year In Review: Team Sports

The biggest sports stories in 2005 were not always the best. Yes, champions were crowned in notable fashion: the USC Trojans captured their second straight national title; the New England Patriots cemented their dynasty status with their third Super Bowl win in four years, the Spurs won a thrilling Game 7 to win the NBA championship, and neither the Yankees nor Red Sox won the World Series. Yet many noteworthy stories went unnoticed—at least when first reported—that would prove to be among the most resonant of the year. Many such stories, such as the NHL's decision...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Protection

  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

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