Issue 4204

Yao Ming Living Up To Height Expectations

HOUSTON—Despite initial skepticism among NBA fans and analysts, Rockets center Yao Ming has had no trouble living up to the expectations of coaches and players that he would be 7'5" tall.

NHL Players Protest New Goaltending Penalty

NEW YORK—Less than six months since players returned from a yearlong lockout, hockey is once again in turmoil following last week's announcement that "goaltending," or attempting to obstruct a shot on goal or impede the puck's progress with one's body or stick, would become a two-minute minor penalty, a rule change that went into effect Monday.

Onion Sports Super Bowl Preview

With just one game remaining in the NFL season, the field of championship contenders has been trimmed considerably. Over the next two weeks, we wrap up this season's pro-football coverage with continuing Super Bowl dispatches from Detroit. Turn to Onion Sports for complete reports on sport's greatest spectacle, staged this year in one of America's most urban cities. Onion Sports will be updating its Super Bowl XL coverage daily during the week, with an entirely new Onion Sports page every Thursday as always.

Iran's Holocaust Conference

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is planning a conference to assess the scale and validity of the Holocaust. What is the agenda for the meeting?

January 23, 1973

Henley, Frey Urge Nation To Take It Easy: Laid-Back Eagles Call For National Mellowing-Out Period

I Enjoy The Occasional Tranq Dart

I'm a regular lowland gorilla like anybody else. And sometimes, at the end of a particularly frantic and rampaging day, I need a little something...
End Of Section
  • More News

Hamas Victorious

Following Sharon's replacement and the recent political victory for Hamas, the future of the Middle East looks more uncertain than ever. What do you think?


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close