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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Customer Service

Stealth Bomber Being Retired

The revolutionary $45 million nearly radar-invisible F-117A Nighthawk, better known as the Stealth Bomber, is being phased out of existence by the military by 2007. What do you think?
  • "I, for one, think the Conspicuous Bomber is a terrible idea for a replacement."

    Sara Hamilton
    Taxidermist
  • "Retiring at the age of 20? Damn, I wish I were an aeronautical killing machine."

    Antonio Giancarlo
    Website Designer
  • "So this is the thanks it gets after all these years of razing villages for the Pentagon?"

    Tom Dickie
    Oral Surgeon
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