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White House Had Prior Knowledge Of Cheney Threat

• Army Of Identical Scientists Demands Legislative Support For Cloning

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News

  WASHINGTON, DC—Popular support for the controversial procedure is growing at an extraordinary and predetermined rate. more»

  

• Girlfriend Dumped After Valentine-Candy-Related Weight Gain

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News

  MONTCLAIR, NJ—The experience gave her boyfriend a terrifying, "out-of-nowhere" premonition of a lifetime of completed meals. more»

  

• Voices In Man's Head Make Great Point About Time Management

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News

  EAST LANSING, MI—Area agoraphobic Aaron Henschler finally sought help after his inner demons urged him to set a sensible budget. more»

  

• Father Doesn't Understand Teenage Son's Obsession With Classic Rock

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Brief

  SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—Phil Poole, 42, said Monday that he is coming to grips with his 15-year-old son Carter's taste in music. "I thought he was... more»

• George Jefferson Honored For Black Television History Month

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Brief

  BURBANK, CA—George Jefferson, the gruff and opinionated African-American character who debuted on All In The Family in 1973, will be... more»

• Everyone In Coffee Shop Billing For Their Time

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Brief

  CHICAGO—All 17 customers at Chicago's Urn coffee shop were billing third parties for time spent there. "The people on laptops are web designers,... more»

• Alito Keeps Telling Supreme Court How They Did Things In Circuit Court

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Brief

  WASHINGTON, DC—Supreme Court sources say the "Third Circuit anecdotes" told by newest associate justice Samuel Alito are irritating his... more»

• Latest Bin Laden Tape For Completists Only

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Brief

  NEW YORK—CIA analyst Douglas Biryla advised the public at large to skip the latest video tape from fugitive Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden... more»

• FEMA's Disaster-Preparedness Changes

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | Infographic

  

• Youe Horoscope

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | Horoscope

• Abandoned Municipal Projects

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | Statshot

  

• Bush Defends U.S. Baby-Monitoring Program

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.22.06 | Radio News

• Lord Answers Bible-Camp Counselor's Prayer For Safe And Enjoyable Hike

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Radio News

• Man Dismembered After Dying On Dominatrix's Torture Rack Would Have Wanted It That Way

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.24.06 | Radio News

• Vanquished Foe's Skull Makes Surprisingly Bad Wine Goblet

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.25.06 | Radio News

• Scientists Say Lifelike Pleasure-Bot Nowhere Near Tested Enough

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.26.06 | Radio News

• Area Man To Give Funny T-Shirt Business A Shot

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.27.06 | Radio News

• Long-Time Recreational Eater Turns Pro

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.28.06 | Radio News

• Betty Friedan Honored With Second-Class Postage Stamp

  ISSUE 43•19 ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Photos

  

• Giant Bass Hates Having Picture Taken

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | News in Photos

  

• Life Is Too Precious To Be Enjoyed

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | Commentary

  When I look back on my 61 years, I sometimes think, "If only I had taken the time to really experience everything out there, I would probably be... more»

• I'm Totally Gonna Get Laid On This Humanitarian Mission To Uganda

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.20.06 | Commentary

  In less than 72 hours, I'll be touching down in Kampala, on my way to the shores of Lake Victoria, aka poontang heaven. My Peace Corps... more»

• February 20, 1947

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.22.06 | History

  'Tele-Vision' Promises Mass Enrichment of Mankind more»

  

• Please Stop Casting Me

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.24.06 | Sunday Magazine

  

• Kobe Bryant Named As 2008 Olympic Basketball Team

  ISSUE 42•52 ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Sports News

  PHOENIX—In a press conference Wednesday, USA Basketball managing director Jerry Colangelo announced that Kobe Bryant has been selected as the 2008 men's Olympic basketball team. more»

  

• Tampa Bay Devil Rays Worried They Might Be Cut During Spring Training

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Sports News in Brief

  ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Members of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays team, coaching staff, and front office expressed concern Tuesday that they might not be... more»

• Tony Stewart: 'I Can't Believe The Other Drivers Fell For That 'Safety' Crap'

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Sports News in Brief

  DAYTONA BEACH, FL—2005 Nextel Cup champion Tony Stewart, who consistently preached the importance of safety in the weeks leading up to... more»

• U.S. Olympic Hockey Team Continues 26-Year Streak Of Non-Miraculous Play

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Sports News in Brief

  TURIN, ITALY—The U.S. men's hockey team, the lowest-ranked of all national squads going into Wednesday's quarterfinals with a 1-3-1 record, is... more»

• Sammy Sosa Retires 12 Home Runs Shy Of Steroid Investigation

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Sports News in Brief

  BALTIMORE—Sammy Sosa, the slugger who won the attention and suspicion of American baseball fans with a series of 60-homer seasons in the late... more»

  

• Winter Olympics Highlights

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Sportsgraphic

  

• Voice Of The Red Sox Ends 86-Year Living Streak

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | Photo Finish

  

• Arab Protection Of U.S. Ports

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.22.06 | American Voices

  Many are voicing concern over Bush’s recent approval of a deal allowing a company based in the United Arab Emirates, who had ties to the Sept. 11... more»

• $1.6 Billion On White House PR

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.23.06 | American Voices

  According to the Government Accountability Office, the Bush Administration spent $1.6 billion in public relations and advertising in the past 30... more»

• Study: Low-Fat Diet Doesn't Lower Heart Disease

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.24.06 | American Voices

  The findings of a new study show that low-fat diets do not reduce risk of cancer or heart disease. What do you think? more»

• Disgraced Radio Shack CEO Forced To Step Down

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.27.06 | American Voices

  David Edmondson, CEO of Radio Shack, resigned when it was revealed that he had falsified his résumé. What do you think? more»

• Stealth Bomber Being Retired

  ISSUE 42•08 | 02.28.06 | American Voices

  The revolutionary $45 million nearly radar-invisible F-117A Nighthawk, better known as the Stealth Bomber, is being phased out of existence by the... more»

• BERKELEY, CA—Residents gathered for a candlelight vigil by the bay, but it quickly dissipated when it was revealed that it was for racism.

• FLORRISANT, MO—Planners of an abortion-clinic bombing were forced to postpone due to a scheduling conflict with the Blue-Collar Comedy Tour at the Savvis Center in nearby St. Louis.

• UPTON, ME—After months of experimentation and a tense collaboration with local raccoons, the black bears of Upton have at long last gained access to Frank Ewell's smokehouse.

• ConAgra Foods Inc.

  Shares of the food giant climbed when it announced the development of a new lettuce substitute providing a meat-based alternative for those who want to enjoy that same lettuce flavor without all the vitamins and fiber.