Naomi Campbell Assaults Maid

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Issue 4213

Abramoff Gets 70 Months

Corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff was sentenced to 70 months in prison for his role in defrauding Indian tribes, tax evasion, and conspiracy to bribe...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Small Business

Naomi Campbell Assaults Maid

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested for throwing a phone at a housekeeper, making this her third assault accusation to date. What do you think?
  • “She's getting a little long in the tooth for this modeling business. Seems to me she's just trying to make a graceful transition to roller derby.”

    David Grubbs
    Cashier
  • “I, for one, will never be able to look at her half-naked body the same way again.”

    Jan Fine
    Senior Export Licenser
  • “Can't we let her go one more time? She's only got two or three more good years left on her.”

    Sooyoung Park
    Carpet Installer
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