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Scientists Warn: Autumn Will Kill Us All

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Issue 4236

NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole

NEW YORK—New York Governor George Pataki thanked President Bush for providing "ample, unquestioning financial support" for the $175 million pit.

Alex Rodriguez Placed On Emotionally Disabled List

NEW YORK—After suffering through much of the year with an aching heart, shattered self-image, and severely hurt feelings, Alex Rodriguez was placed on the 15-day emotionally disabled list, though the Yankee slugger did not rule out the...

Airport Security Oversights

A Connecticut man was recently arrested for carrying a stick of dynamite in his checked luggage on a flight back from Brazil. Here are some other...

Grapes 'Big Hit' At Area Picnic

PORTLAND, OR—Speaking at an impromptu press conference on her back patio, 7th-grade language-arts teacher Wendy Polonski, 31, announced that the seedless green grapes she brought to a small potluck-style picnic with Fernwood Middle School...

Stripper Does Adequate Job

HOUSTON, TX—Executives attending a special conference in the VIP Room of Ajax Gentleman's Club responded positively and expressed general...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

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