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Native Bostonians Unable To Defend Land From Invading College Students

• Green-Conscious GE Develops Hybrid Lightbulb

  ISSUE 44•27 ISSUE 42•40 | 10.02.06 | News

  FAIRFIELD, CT—The bulb's four-cylinder engine could produce up to 80 percent less global-warming pollution than conventional gas-powered bulbs. more»

  

• Flustered Bush Misses Air Force One Flight

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.03.06 | News

  CAMP SPRINGS, MD—"They just lost their best customer," said the president, who added that he would start looking into other carriers. more»

  

• Muslims To Boycott All Pope Merchandise

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | News

  KARACHI—A halt in sales of La-Z-Pope chairs, Pope Oaties cereal, and Jiffy-Pope could spell trouble for the Vatican's multi-billion-dollar consumer-goods empire. more»

  

• Senate Wins Fight To Lower Allowable Amperage Levels On Detainees' Testicles

  ISSUE 43•12 ISSUE 42•40 | 09.29.06 | News in Brief

  WASHINGTON, DC—Led by a bipartisan group of senators critical of White House policy on suspected terrorists, the... more»

  

• Underfunded School Lacks Resources To Calculate Student-To-Teacher Ratio

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.02.06 | News in Brief

  PHILADELPHIA—Budget cuts and unfulfilled requests for federal funding have left Philadelphia's East Central High School without the vital... more»

• New Therapist Obsessed With Old Therapist

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.03.06 | News in Brief

  STONE HARBOR, NJ—Dr. Peter Crosley, the psychotherapist seen by real-estate broker Rachel Falbaum since March, has become increasingly... more»

• Tourist Experiences City By Buying Used CDs

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | News in Brief

  CHARLESTON, SC—Tourist Alex Pratt decided to "get the feel" of the historic South Carolina port city of Charleston by making the rounds of... more»

• Britney Spears Loses Custody Of Child To In Touch Magazine

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | News in Brief

  LOS ANGELES—Caseworkers from the California Department Of Social Services escorted Sutton Pierce Federline, the newborn second son of singer... more»

• Apple Claiming The Term "Pod"

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | Infographic

  Apple Computers is laying legal claim to the term "pod," used in words like "podcast." Here are some other items Apple is trying to claim as its... more»

  

• Your Horoscope

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | Horoscope

• Where Is The Last Place We Looked?

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | Statshot

  

• President Bush Decides The U.S. Will Fight The Terrorists In Ohio

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | Radio News

• Old Friends Fully Caught Up 10 Minutes Into Lunch

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Radio News

• Senate Carpool 'Forgets' To Pick Up Feingold Again

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.07.06 | Radio News

• Turkey Sandwich Given Locally Relevant Name

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.08.06 | Radio News

• Bird-Flu Fears Forcing Average Americans To Stop Handling Dead Chickens

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.09.06 | Radio News

• Lazy Satanist Summons Demon To Walk His Dog

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.10.06 | Radio News

• Student Fills In New Essay Portion Of SAT With All C's

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | News in Photos

  

• Rachael Ray Snaps Chicken's Neck Live On Air

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | News in Photos

  

• I Didn't Ask To Be A Role Model For My Kids

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | Commentary

  Sure, I've reached a point where people look up to me. I've won just about every award offered in the sporting-goods business. I came in when this... more»

• I'm Going To Be A Star

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | Commentary

  I know what you're thinking, and it's true: In this big, crazy universe, gaseous regions with the density and heat required to ignite deuterium... more»

• Oct. 4, 1951

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | History

  Morty And Betty Crocker Executed For Selling Top-Secret Cake Recipes To Reds more»

  

• Why American Hubris Will Never Catch Up To Us

  ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 42•40 | 10.06.06 | Sunday Magazine

  

• Editorial Cartoon - October 5, 2006

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Editorial Cartoon

  

• Editorial Cartoon - October 9, 2006

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.09.06 | Editorial Cartoon

  

• Hungry Bears Defense Feeds On Soldier Field Crowd

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Sports News

  CHICAGO—The league-leading Chicago Bears defense, which overpowered and dominated the Seattle Seahawks last Sunday en route to a 37-6 victory, took time after the game to emphasize that they would not have had the extra energy needed to... more»

  

• Confident Pedro Martinez Performs Own Rotator-Cuff Surgery

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Sports News in Brief

  NEW YORK—Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez, who will miss the next eight months with an arm injury, showed no loss of morale or confidence as he... more»

• Suspended Tackle Albert Haynesworth: 'I Just Wanted To Make Sure The Guy Was Dead'

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Sports News in Brief

  NASHVILLE, TN—Defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth, suspended five games by the NFL for stomping on the head and kicking the face of Cowboys... more»

  

• Experts Predict No NL Team Will Go Deep Into Playoffs

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Sports News in Brief

  BRISTOL, CT—Even though the National League somehow managed to send four teams into the 2006 MLB postseason, baseball experts said Monday... more»

• Miguel Tejada Claims He's Never Heard Of Jason Grimsley, Steroids, Orioles

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Sports News in Brief

  BALTIMORE—Following pitcher Jason Grimsley's allegation that Miguel Tejada had taken performance-enhancing drugs while the two were... more»

• MLB World Series Contenders

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Sportsgraphic

  

• Stolen Auburn Playbook Returned With Spelling, Grammar Corrected

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | Photo Finish

  

• Rash Of School Shootings

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.04.06 | American Voices

  The U.S. has seen 25 school shootings since the beginning of the academic year. What do you think? more»

• Netflix $1 Million Offer

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.05.06 | American Voices

  Netflix is currently offering $1 million to anyone who can improve its personal movie recommendations system. What do you think? more»

• Breast-Fed Babies No Smarter

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.06.06 | American Voices

  According to research published in the British Medical Journal, breast feeding does not make babies any smarter. What do you think? more»

• KISS Guitarist Denied Royalties

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.09.06 | American Voices

  Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent was denied claims to royalties for the album Lick It Up by the Supreme Court recently. What do you... more»

• North Korea Nuke Test

  ISSUE 42•40 | 10.10.06 | American Voices

  North Korea reportedly tested a nuclear bomb early Monday morning. What do you think? more»

• cloudy

  Mostly dour

• WHITE PLAINS, NY—After his first successful date since his college days, Ken Burke, 25, was relieved to find out that the French kiss is still the kiss of choice among mid-20-year-olds and that no new advances had been made in kissing procedures.

• CINCINATI, OH—While taking a momentary break from his computer to get a Snapple, Carl Nowak’s Sims game achieved a Utopian society mere moments before a system crash prevented him from documenting his results and sharing them with the world.

• MOBILE, AL—Upon learning of her pregnancy, circus side-show geek Irene “The Gaping Maw” Warren vowed to be a responsible mother and began eating bicycle spokes and shards of glass for two.

• Cryoway

  Shareholders are seeing steady growth as tortured parents of colic-stricken children are flocking to have their fussy babies' heads cryogenically frozen until a cure is found.