Issue 4252
Kobe Bryant Named As 2008 Olympic Basketball Team
PHOENIXIn a press conference Wednesday, USA Basketball
managing director Jerry Colangelo announced that Kobe Bryant has been selected
as the 2008 men's Olympic ...
Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone Who Has Ever Watched Baseball
SAN FRANCISCO—With the publication of a book detailing
steroid use by San Francisco Giants superstar Barry Bonds, two San Francisco
Chronicle reporters have corroborated ...
Duke University Equestrian Team Hoping To Avoid Investigation Into Their Sex Scandal
DURHAM, NC—Mere weeks after members of their university's lacrosse team were accused of sexually assaulting exotic dancers, ranking Duke polo and equestrian team ...
Royals Hire Tom Emanski To Teach Them Fundamentals Of Baseball
KANSAS CITY—With their offense floundering, their pitching the league's worst, and their footwork on double-play balls atrocious, the Royals (12-37) announced Sunday that ...
Carolina Residents Confused, Terrified As Victorious Hurricane Players Riot In Streets
RALEIGH, NC—Only hours after the Carolina Hurricanes won the NHL Championship Monday night in a hard-fought Game 7 against the Edmonton Oilers, North Carolina ...
Somalia Defeats Rwanda To Win Third-World Cup
KHARTOUM, SUDAN—The host city of the 2006 Developing Nations Football Championship erupted in cheers that nearly drowned out the cries of the starving and ...
PNC Park Threatens To Leave Pittsburgh Unless Better Team Is Built
PITTSBURGH—After five years of serving Pittsburgh as their state-of-the-art sporting facility, PNC Park, the home of the rundown, poorly maintained Pirates, said Tuesday it ...
Yankees–Red Sox Rivalry Running Dangerously Low On Storylines
BOSTON—As the long-running Yankees–Red Sox rivalry nears the end of its 104th season, the popular feud that once provided fans with visceral, emotionally ...
Overjoyed Saints Fans Tear Roof Off Reopened Superdome
NEW ORLEANS—Over 70,000 elated New Orleans Saints fans celebrated the first professional football game to take place in the newly renovated Superdome since ...
Cardinals Apologize For Winning World Series
ST. LOUIS—Calling Friday night's victory on baseball's grandest stage "a terrible mistake," members of the St. Louis Cardinals issued a formal apology ...
Cross-Country Champ Wishes He Were Good At Sports
WOODSIDE, CA—Cross-country runner Ryan Hall, who won
the USA Track & Field open men's 12-km championship race last week, later
said that...
Steve Nash Calls Second Consecutive MVP Award 'Some Kind Of Sick Joke'
PHOENIX—Upon receiving his second straight MVP award on Monday, Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash accused the NBA of "being out to make a...
Sportscaster Claims You Hate To See That
BRISTOL, CT—Despite the clip airing on the 6 p.m., 8 p.m., and 11 p.m. broadcasts of SportsCenter, ESPN anchor Chris Berman ...
Tony Stewart Calls Upcoming Allstate 400 'A Great Opportunity To Kill Someone'
INDIANAPOLIS—Just days after accepting full responsibility for a wreck that knocked Clint Boyer and Carl Edwards out of the Pocono 500, Tony...
Experts: 'Derek Jeter Probably Didn't Need To Jump To Throw That Guy Out'
BRISTOL, CT—Baseball experts agreed Sunday that Derek Jeter, who fielded a routine ground ball during a regular-season game in which the...
Florida State University To Phase Out Academic Operations By 2010
SARASOTA, FL—Bowing to pressure from alumni, students, and a majority of teaching professors of Florida State University, athletic director...
Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, Hamid Karzai, NASA, Samsung
DALLAS—Troubled, underperforming Dallas wide receiver Terrell Owens lashed out in a press conference at the Cowboys practice facility...
Hockey Returns
After a yearlong players' strike, professional hockey returned to the ice last weekend as the NHL presented the first exhibition games of the 2005-2006 season ...
Video Games To Have Ads
EA Games, makers of the popular Madden football-video-game franchise, just signed a deal with Microsoft's ad-placement arm to incorporate real-time...
Uwe Boll Boxes Critics
Uwe Boll, director of the critically reviled House of the Dead, recently took on four of his critics in a boxing ring in Canada. What ...
Yankee Crashes Plane In NYC
A small plane piloted by New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle hit a Manhattan high-rise apartment building Wednesday. What do you think?
President Ford Dead
President Gerald Ford, our nation's 38th President, died Tuesday at the age of 93 at his desert home in California. What do you think?





















