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Issue 4301

Bush Hides U.S. Report Card In Sock Drawer

CRAWFORD, TX—According to White House sources, following yet another disappointing grading period for the nation he leads, President Bush hid the national report card in his bedroom sock drawer Monday.

Bush Fishing For Compliments During Press Conference

WASHINGTON, DC—During a Monday press conference, President Bush repeatedly interrupted the question-and-answer period to seek out praise from the press corps. "Man, that Social Security speech I gave last night—people are saying that might be one of my best ones yet," said Bush, pausing and raising his eyebrows expectantly at the correspondents in the front row. "Yep, sure felt like I nailed it... So..." Getting no bites, Bush changed the subject, mentioning that he picked out his own suit for the conference, but wasn't really sure if it looked good on him.

The Bush Family Biography

The Family: The Real Story Of The Bush Dynasty, Kitty Kelley's tell-all biography of the Bush family, hit shelves last week. What did the book reveal?
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