STOCKPORT, ENGLAND—British homosexual John Amaechi sent shockwaves throughout the sporting world last week when he announced, much to the surprise of his family and friends—in addition to NBA players and fans—that he lived a...
WASHINGTON, DC—Calling Congress an "enemy of the state," the Bush Administration made it clear that it is not only severing ties to the lawmakers, but also to anyone who offers them aid, comfort, or votes.
CHICAGO—"We just don't have the time to be consoled with a blanket and a cup of coffee by some cop," said jogger Elizabeth Riccardi, who, like many others, is tired of stumbling upon corpses in her path.
In an interview with The New Yorker earlier today, White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci leveled harsh criticism against the FBI and members of the Trump administration. The Onion fact-checks Scaramucci’s claims.