America's Sweetheart Dumps U.S. For Some Douchebag

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Issue 4314

Potential New Cubs Owners

Now that the Tribune Co. is selling the fabled Cubs franchise, rumors of potential new owners are swirling throughout baseball. Onion Sports looks...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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