BRISTOL, CT—NFL officials and ESPN executives made an emergency announcement Tuesday stating that the 2007 NFL Player Draft may have to be postponed indefinitely, as draft guru Mel Kiper Jr.'s Big Board, the index-card-laden bulletin board...
ORLANDO, FL—Confirming years of rumored sightings by visitors to the theme park, officials from Walt Disney World said Tuesday that several hundred blind and bedraggled Disney characters are living in caves deep within Space Mountain.
BURBANK, CA—While giving creative notes on the screenplay in a Friday meeting, DC Comics president Geoff Johns reportedly said he was concerned that a recent draft of the ‘Batgirl: Origins’ script was not compelling enough to support a movie, three more movies, a 2028 reboot, and four additional movies.
GAMMA CEPHEI STAR SYSTEM—Taking long hits of euphoria plasma from his electro-collider bong, stoned extraterrestrial Zogart 21X Flaxum stumbled across a hidden message Friday after listening to the Voyager 1 probe’s Golden Record backwards.
FREEHOLD, NJ—Saying it hasn’t always been easy inventing reasons for not attending one of his gigs, local man John Gilman, 68, told reporters Thursday that he has spent approximately 50 years coming up with excuses to avoid checking out the band of high school classmate Bruce Springsteen.