WASHINGTON, DC—While pug owners are accustomed to chronic dog malfunction, the latest animals are prone to more than the usual overheating, seizures, and joint ...

NEW YORK—"It may mean sacrificing TV shows and even chores, but we cannot sit idly by as this gorgeous weather rolls in," said one ...

ALBANY, NY—˜The decision to drug Edwards and push his car off a cliff came after a year void of fatal bus crashes, teacher death ...

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Though he admitted he hasn't listened to the band in 10 years, tech-support specialist Jonathan Meagher, 25, somehow found...

LONDON—Once thought to be the most definitive reference of its kind, Guinness World Records was forced to formally recognize The...

CHICAGO—In a surprising refutation of the conventional wisdom on opinion entitlement, a study conducted by the University of Chicago's...

PHOENIX—Though 27-year-old paralegal Pete Gossling prides himself on his ability to efficiently accomplish numerous tasks at once, none of...

ORLAND, IN—Amazing new medical findings concerning the cholesterol-regulating properties of omega-3 fatty acids could offer Indiana resident...

President Bush has appointed Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute as "war czar." What will Lute's duties entail?

Lady Liberty's Spanish Menace Returns For Revenge

JAMESTOWN, NY— NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced in a press conference yesterday that the NFL Code of Conduct would be tightened further after several NFL ...

BALTIMORE—During the cool-down lap that followed "Curlin's" victory celebration immediately after the supposed three-year-old won the...

SACRAMENTO—Sports fans nationwide reported feelings of surprise, amusement, and grudging admiration after discovering that the Detroit Shock...

CLEVELAND—During a press conference following the first game of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, Cleveland Cavaliers star forward LeBron...

NEW YORK—Several leading baseball experts sent shockwaves throughout the sport Monday, making the bold—and some say...

In honor of this year's Indy 500, the first to feature three female drivers, Onion Sports looks at some other great moments for women ...

Our success in the war on terrorism may lead to other problems: Terrorist ghosts.

Eight months after Katie Couric took over as anchor, The CBS Evening News is a distant third in the nightly news ratings, and last week...

In an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, former President Jimmy Carter referred to the Bush administration's foreign policy as the "worst...

Donald Trump, host of the low-rated NBC television series The Apprentice, says he quit abruptly before the network could bump him from the...

The FDA approved Lybrel, a birth control pill that stops the monthly menstrual cycle altogether. What do you think?

An internal memo from from a Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign staffer urged her not to run in the Iowa caucus, stating that she would ...