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Issue 4324

Famous MLB Manager Tantrums

As Braves manager Bobby Cox approaches the all-time record for ejections from games, Onion Sports remembers baseball's all-time best on-field...

Davey Gendelman Hits Puberty

WHITFORD, NJ—School security camera footage showed that Gendleman now experiences spontaneous erections, especially while sitting near classmate Sarah Miller.

Russia Engages In Saber Rattling

Recently, Russia has engaged in what seem to be Soviet-era tactics, such as a ballistic missile test, a threat to target Europe, and a suspected...

Author To Use Water As Metaphor

CHAPEL HILL, NC—Novelist, playwright, and poet H. Gregor Lafferty, 41, announced Monday his plan to use water as a metaphor in an upcoming...
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