Suicide Attempts A Desperate Cry For Death

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Issue 4333

New Features in Madden '08

The release of the new Madden videogame has become an event in its own right. Onion Sports lists everything players can get excited about...

U.S. To Re-Hang Saddam Hussein

WASHINGTON, DC—The re-hanging, which will be aired on all major networks, will be "brighter, cheerier, and more upbeat" than the first anticlimactic attempt.

America's Aging Infrastructure

Recent incidents, including a bridge collapse in Minneapolis and a steam tunnel explosion in New York City, have brought the nation's aging...
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