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Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda With Patriotic New Song ‘Bomb New York’

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Issue 4339

Unusual Sports Injuries

In light of the knee injury Padres outfielder Milton Bradley suffered while arguing with an umpire, Onion Sports presents a catalog of some of the...

Bush Makes Surprise Visit To Work

WASHINGTON, DC— Dressed in a special suit-and-tie uniform, Bush entered the East Room at about 3:30 p.m. and greeted an enthusiastic crowd of staff members.

Dollar Weakest In 31 Years

For the first time since 1976, the Canadian dollar has achieved parity with the American dollar. What are the factors behind the slide of American...

Texans Elect Gun

AUSTIN, TX—In a landslide decision, the people of Texas elected a .44-caliber revolver to the U.S. Senate.
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