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Four Dead After Man Loses Control Of Dowsing Rod

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Issue 4341

Piping-Hot Calzone Missing

WEST ORANGE, NJ—"It was right here a second ago," said the owner of the sizzling Italian sandwich, which was last seen in the office break room at approximately 1 p.m.

Blues At Blackhawks

Onion Sports analyzes this early-season meeting between what are presumably two NHL teams.

Patriots Stunned By Mere 17-Point Victory

BOSTON—The Patriots organization is reeling this week following their narrow 34-17 victory over the lowly Browns, taking stock of their game-planning methods, philosophy, and indeed their entire season in the aftermath of a game in which...
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