HOUSTON—Still relying on a single dial-up modem, NASA employees continue to get disconnected when someone at the Johnson Space Center picks up the phone ...
WEST ORANGE, NJ—"It was right here a second ago," said the owner of the sizzling Italian sandwich, which was last seen in the office ...
BANGOR, ME—"He may not have lived to see it, but I'm sure President Reagan is up in heaven smiling down on me," said ...
BRESLAU, NE—Nearly four billion years of biological evolution failed to prevent local man Dale Haynes from accidentally drooling all over...
WASHINGTON, DC—According to employees at the nonprofit organization Refugees International, each of the four new fall interns has been...
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Monday, the cost of American freedom has soared from its previous 1779 high of bravery,...
CLEVELAND—The D chord, famed for its part in innumerable classic rock songs, including "Back in Black," "Bad Moon Rising," and "Don't Be...
EVANSTON, IL—The parents of recently admitted bisexual Jeremy Lambert said they completely half-understand their 19-year-old son's lifestyle...
The New York Times uncovered memoranda of secret Justice Department legal opinions regarding methods of interrogating enemy combatants....
BOSTON—The Patriots organization is reeling this week following their narrow 34-17 victory over the lowly Browns, taking stock of their game-planning methods, philosophy, and ...
CHICAGO—One man died and over 300 others were seriously injured in downtown Chicago Sunday when thousands of the city's residents made an...
CHICAGO—Following the Cubs' first-round elimination from the playoffs, a stunned and confused Lou Piniella asked umpires and reporters to...
BUFFALO, NY—Following another devastating loss to the Dallas Cowboys Monday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell told the 1-4 Buffalo Bills to...
NEW YORK—The tension and unspoken hostility between Yankees manager Joe Torre and owner George Steinbrenner following the New York Yankees'...
MIAMI—Just two days after he was knocked unconscious by a violent blow to the head and carried off the field on a stretcher, concussed ...
Stanford's defeat of top-ranked USC is merely the latest upset in a season that has already held more than its share. Onion Sports runs ...
Onion Sports analyzes this early-season meeting between what are presumably two NHL teams.
'Cum Inside' star Jennica St. Foxx is receiving heavy criticism for using a racial slur in her latest film.
Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).
British rockers Radiohead are offering their album as a download and letting fans pay what they want for it. What do you think?
A Minnesota woman was fined $222,000 for illegally downloading and distributing 24 songs via the file-sharing network Kazaa. What do you think?
After a slew of instantaneous concert sell-outs, culminating with tween idol Hannah Montana, several states are looking into consumer protection...
A recent independent study determined that Tasers are generally safe in the hands of the police. What do you think?
After an absence of nearly two weeks in which his whereabouts were largely unknown, Robert W. Levy, mayor of Atlantic City, NJ, returned to office...