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Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

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Issue 4342

Oct. 19, 1931

Recently Opened Empire State Building 'Giant-Ape Proof,' Say Architects

Midnight Madness

As the 2007 NCAA basketball season gets underway, Onion Sports reports on the midnight festivities on campuses across the nation:

'95-'96 Prayers Finally Answered

HEAVEN—Explaining that He had been "absolutely swamped," God announced yesterday that He was finally able to find time in His busy schedule...

Tony Stewart

Tony Stewart is a complex mix of aggression and talent in remarkably unequal measure.

Fifty Years Of Space Exploration

This month marks the 50th anniversary of the launching of Sputnik, the earth's first artificial satellite. What are the highlights of these first...

You're Not My Real Stepdad!

You can't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me. You're not the guy who married my mom after she got divorced. You think you can just show...

Fifty Years Of Space Exploration

This month marks the 50th anniversary of the launching of Sputnik, the earth's first artificial satellite. What are the highlights of these first...

It Only Tuesday

WASHINGTON, DC—Tuesday's arrival stunned a nation still recovering from Monday's nightmarish slog, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end.
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