Civil War Enthusiasts Burn Atlanta To Ground

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Issue 4347

Online Couple Never Chats Anymore

Seattle—"Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in his online profile," said Baxter, who couldn’t remember the last time she and Tim Siegal really ‘LOLed’ together.

What's-His-Face Fires Publicist

LOS ANGELES—What's-his-face, possibly best known for his recurring role in a series of pretty big action movies from the past few years,...

2007 NASCAR Highlights

Jimmie Johnson has been awarded the 2007 NASCAR Nextel Cup after an historic and eventful racing season. Onion Sports runs down the high...

Mike Modano

Onion Sports analysts break down the abilities of the highest-scoring American hockey player ever.

Fans Best Fans Ever

MOST MAJOR AMERICAN CITIES—Coaches, managers, team owners, quarterbacks, pitchers, drivers, hockey and basketball centers, league MVPs,...

Regan Suing News Corporation

Judith Regan, the former publisher of Reganbooks, is suing Rupert Murdoch and News Corporation, alleging that the company sought to discredit her...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.