New Global-Social-Positioning System To Help Lost Drivers Avoid Poor People

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Issue 4403

Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book

GREENWOOD,IN—"Instead of spending hours on YouTube every night, Mr. Meyer, unlike most healthy males, looks to books for gratification," said one psychologist.

Rock Song Takes Pro-Rock Stance

LOS ANGELES—A fist-pumping spokesperson for the rock and roll song "Rock You" declared the new track's unwavering pro-rock stance Monday...

Roger Federer

The most flawless tennis player of our time is not without his flaws.

Worst-Ever NFL Playoff Chokes

Poor performances by Tony Romo and Peyton Manning contributed to their teams' losses in the divisional playoffs, but they weren't the worst...

Failure Now An Option

WASHINGTON —A recent poll revealed that 64% of Americans are comfortable with coming up short, while 43% are content to try only once rather than try, try again.

Women Are Way Out Of My League

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. With my dopey face and chicken legs, my love life could be summed up in one word: hopeless. The harder I...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.