WASHINGTON—What naysayers don't understand, Bush said, is that "when it comes to fighting terrorism, there's no harm in letting loose and painting ...

ATLANTA—The attitude of "falling down a laundry chute and breaking my neck will never happen to me or my family" is what puts people ...

LANCASTER, PA—The probable Mediterranean sex god who relayed the message rolled his R's in a manner that suggested he could outperform you sexually.

PEORIA, IL—Seventy-six-year-old grandmother Anita Graney told reporters Monday that she was "overwhelmed with pride" for having lived to see...

BROOKLYN, NY—After taking a group of visiting hometown friends out with the circle of friends he has made since moving to New York from...

NEW YORK—In a press release Tuesday, Viacom executives announced their newest hour-long VH1 Celebreality program, Knight Life, with...

OAKLAND, CA—Hallelujah, what do you know—reports have surfaced that Michael Bohlke put on a nice pair of pants for once in his 28 ...

NEW YORK—Giuliani, once a beloved New York figure who earned the nickname "America's Mayor," was wearing a faded New York Yankees jacket and ...

With gas solidly over $4 a gallon for the first time and air travel becoming prohibitively expensive, many families are being forced to change...

Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? I sure have. When everything is falling apart and you just can't ...

BROOKLYN, NY—Mark Mendicus, 26-year-old Staples employee and principal owner of the fantasy baseball team Beat With Uggla Stick, blasted his underperforming team in the ...

PHOENIX—Arizona Diamondbacks second baseman Orlando Hudson has been intentionally striking out in an effort to make his teammates laugh, team...

BOSTON—As the polls close on the first month of All-Star voting, the race to represent the American League at third base is a dead ...

NEW YORK—A visibly distressed Alex Rodriguez announced Tuesday that controversial baseball figure Pete Rose has sent him dozens of scandalous...

SEATTLE—In post-game comments following another Mariners loss, shortstop and former Cuban refugee Yuniesky Betancourt expressed a preference...

SAN DIEGO—A man who used several different bent sticks to hit a ball to an area comprised of very short grass surrounding a hole ...

Sports fans were deeply moved by Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s Father's Day victory in the NASCAR LifeLock 400. Onion Sports takes the opportunity to...

Sizing up Jones, the most recent man who might be the next man to hit .400.

High school theater's brightest stars gathered last night to see who would take home the coveted award for Most Awkward Kiss.

A recent survey of children found that they are not in favor of increased doctor visits and vaccinations.

Months after John McCain became the presumptive Republican nominee for president, Ron Paul is dropping out of the race. What do you think?

Barack Obama responded to rumors of a video that purportedly featured his wife, Michelle, going on a racist tirade, by claiming she's never used ...

NBC Meet The Press host Tim Russert died suddenly of a heart attack on Friday. What do you think?

A Los Angeles pornography trial was suspended when it came to light that the judge had bestiality-tinged photos on his personal website. What do...

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) has vowed to stop the sale of Budweiser manufacturer Anheuser-Busch to Belgian-Brazilian company ImBev. What do...

A Detroit Muslim said that she was refused a seat behind Barack Obama's podium at a campaign rally because she was wearing the traditional ...

Swedish researchers have found that the brains of straight men and lesbians display many of the same characteristics. What do you think?

Following California's legalization of gay marriage, George Takei, best known as Sulu on Star Trek, has applied to marry his longtime partner....