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Issue 4431

Colts vs. Redskins

The entire offseason comes down to this: The Colts, The Redskins, and the Hall of Fame Game.

New Linens-N-Shit Opens

MACON, GA—If buyers can't find shit in the right color or size, the crap they need can be located in heaping piles of overstock shit in the warehouse.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Surprises

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

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