Dating

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Issue 4431

L.A. Bans Fast Food

The Los Angeles City Council passed a one-year moratorium on new fast-food establishments opening in South Los Angeles where 30 percent of the...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Dating

Woman Begins To Regret Dating Someone Spontaneous
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Short-Distance Relationship Too Much Work
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Queen Elizabeth II Announces She's Pregnant Again
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Sorta-Attractive Girl Half-Heartedly Hit On
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Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level
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Rhino, Tickbird Stuck In Dead-End Symbiotic Relationship
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Divorced Branding Exec Generates Buzz Before Getting Back Out There
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Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He's Single
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Breakup Secretly Hilarious To Friends
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Date Disastrously Bypasses Physical Intimacy, Goes Straight To Emotional Intimacy
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