Voice Actor Gets First Nude Scene

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Issue 4432

Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps may be the best U.S. athlete at the Olympics. However, he may also still be a swimmer.

Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments

With the opening of the XXIX Summer Olympiad in Beijing, Onion Sports looks back on moments from the past that passed forever into...

Mortgage Relief Bill Provisions

President Bush signed a housing bill into law last week that is designed to assist borrowers facing foreclosure on their homes. What are some...

Nation To Try Its Luck Out West

THE FRONTIER—No matter how bad things get or how dark tomorrow may seem, the one thing Americans can always count on is the promise of a better life somewhere else.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.