COLUMBIA, SC—Nate Walsh, who has lived with his parents since 2001, no longer figures into the senator’s plan of rallying Americans around a ...

LOS ANGELES—TriStar Products, makers of Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer released a statement saying it was an honor just to be nominated alongside the ...

SEATTLE—"I hope the kids at Hampstead Elementary like me," 37-year-old Howard Dengal said. "It'd be nice to have someone to play with during ...

WASHINGTON—Following Russia's controversial military excursions into neighboring Georgia, the Bush administration made its most direct...

WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented gesture of apology, President Bush allowed widow Mary Holt, 32, to punch him once on the left arm Monday as...

WASHINGTON—The Federal Bureau of Investigation announced Monday that it will use all of its resources to sweep the nation in an exhaustive...

WASHINGTON—Vice President Dick Cheney's office announced today that he will speak at the upcoming Republican National Convention in St....

CHICAGO—Turkey sandwiches, long suspected of being a rich source of turkey sandwiches, were found to contain a substantial amount of turkey...

NEW YORK—The smile, a facial expression traditionally used to convey joy, pleasure, or amusement, is now mainly used to suppress rage,...

The recent bankruptcy of the Bennigan's and Steak & Ale chains is one symptom of the struggle that casual dining establishments are facing...

Party! Yeah, man! All right! Can you believe this?! Damn! Dude! Party! What's that? Huh? I can't understand you over the noise...

WILLIAMSPORT, PA—The Hawaii team, known for its powerful lineup of short, fat Skill 5 hitters, defeated the Mexico team 12-3 in the championship game ...

NEW YORK—Once the euphoria accompanying his remarkable eight Olympic gold medals subsides later this month, Michael Phelps will be mentioned...

BRISTOL, CT—In a move that came as little surprise to members of the sports media, ESPN anchor Stuart Scott announced Wednesday that his...

NEW YORK—Eyewitnesses confirm that the unusually quick young man who sprinted past you on the sidewalk this morning carrying a briefcase in...

WENTWORTH, ENGLAND—PGA Tour veteran Ernie Els announced Tuesday that he had settled on the title Inside The Golf Bag for his...

MIAMI—After turning on his cell phone upon landing at the Miami International Airport Monday, Team USA basketball guard and gold medalist...

Some of the greatest achievements in Beijing didn't happen on the track or in the pool. Onion Sports looks at notable stories from the ...

Onion Sports looks at Dolphins starting QB Chad Pennington, a passer much faintly praised for his accuracy.

Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.

Barack Obama announced via an early-morning text message that Senator Joe Biden will be his running mate. What do you think?

In order to revitalize its brand image, Microsoft has hired former sitcom actor Jerry Seinfeld as a spokesman. What do you think?

Four moisturizers have been found to cause skin cancer in mice. What do you think?

Over the past 16 years, the U.S. Amish population has nearly doubled. What do you think?

President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe was loudly derided as a murderer by the Movement for Democratic Change as he opened a meeting of parliament. What...

Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.