adBlockCheck

Historical Archives: John Jameson's Miracle Concoction

Top Headlines

Issue 4439

Al Davis

Ruthless Raiders owner Al Davis is fascinating for the intensity with which he just doesn't give a damn.

Struggling Mets Combine To Form Carlos Voltron

NEW YORK—Facing the Cubs in the midst of a three-game losing streak, the desperate Mets sprinted out to the field Tuesday, launched themselves high into the air above Shea Stadium, and combined their bodies to form a 400-foot tall fielding...

Audio Guide Clearly Hates Degas

LOS ANGELES—According to museumgoers at Los Angeles' Getty Center, an automated audio guide for the 19th-century Impressionism art gallery...

Plans For 9/11 Museum Revealed

After four years of work, architect Craig Dykers has revealed his plans for the 9/11 museum to built on the former site of the World Trade Center. ...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Historical Archives: John Jameson's Miracle Concoction

A PROVEN SOLUTION FOR:

Torpid Innard; Anchorite's Droop; Moth-Bowell; Leadminer's Complaint; Flaccidity of the Tongue;† Magnet-Rash; Horse-Shoe-To-The-Head; New-Hampshireman's Quandary; The Feathers; Superfluous Haire; The Dripping Illness; Whoospy Lung; The Brackets; Gold Fevor; Bewitchment; Thumb Tumefaction; Beard Crickets; Soot-mouth; Milkman's Teat-Finger;† Bucket-Mender's Knee; Air-Borne Toxic Eventualities;† The Gargling Horrors;† The Falling Hollies; The Vapors; Delicacy Spells; Accumulation of Excessive Humors; Astrologicks; Mulish Bladder; Stubborn Coccyx; Irritable Skull; Mistaken Heuristics; Boatswain's Dis-Order; Dog-Stink; Un-Stoppable Tooth Growth;

Available in Containers of All Sizes, from Pocket Flagon to Hog's-Head.

Administer Responsibly and Refrain from the Operation of Voting-Boxes, Bowie-Knives, Livestock, Gallows,

Lumber-Mills, And All Heavy Contraption'ry

Imported From Loathe-full Ireland by John Jameson Company, West-Chester, New York. 1783

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close