WASHINGTON—President Obama received confused silence upon suggesting that his staff might have to "team up with Taurus of Nemedia" to secure the needed funding.

AOMORI, JAPAN—"He was so hot and exotic-looking," said 17 year-old Misaki Nakajima, referring to the obese, unemployed character played by John Candy in Uncle ...

SHERIDAN, OR—"Honestly, what am I supposed to do now?" First-time inmate Martin Hayes asked. "Sit-Ups? Did some already. And I finished the book I ...

LOS ANGELES—The nominees for the 81st annual Academy Awards were announced Thursday, with veteran actor Dennis Quaid receiving no nods in...

DES MOINES, IA—While en route to visit her cousin in South Bend, local divorcee Janet Linden, 37, told reporters Monday that her initial...

SPRINGFIELD, IL—As his impeachment trial began Monday, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich kicked off a national media tour to explain that...

WILMETTE, IL—In an effort to impress repairman Jason Delmar, 29, whom he called to fix a malfunctioning dishwasher, local resident Brad...

CHICAGO—Zenith Lounge bouncer Keith Murphy, 25, openly wept Saturday after hearing the heart-wrenching story of two young men waiting in...

PASADENA, CA—A grotesque and unsettling genetic experiment in which human corneal tissue was grown on the backs of naked mole rats has gone...

Thus far, 2009 is shaping up to be a tough year for businesses, with three large companies—telecommunications giant Nortel, chemical...

For as long as I can remember, the Israelis and Palestinians have been in conflict. And for as long as I can remember, there have ...

TAMPA BAY, FL—In what started as a midfield photo opportunity between opposing team captains and ended as a hard-fought 60-minute competition to become the ...

TAMPA BAY, FL—In an equipment regulation change calculated to increase viewer interest in professional football's championship game,...

TAMPA BAY, FL—In his first public appearance since his death in 1843, attorney, author, and poet Francis Scott Key announced Wednesday that...

PITTSBURGH—Recently laid-off steelworker and football fan Marcus Aniello announced that he would postpone his impending suicide attempt...

TAMPA BAY, FL—Just days before the Super Bowl, the Pittsburgh Steelers' public relations department announced that the team's vaunted "Steel...

TAMPA BAY, FL—Cardinal quarterback Kurt Warner asked the management of the Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay to block access to premium cable network...

It's a classic big-offense vs. tough-defense Super Bowl. For now, we'll ignore how defense always wins those.

From Onion News Network International: North Korea's space program will capture the moon and bring it home, a feat no Western nation could accomplish.

Author Jerry Bloom visits Today Now to explain how you can make your kitchen floor shine without falling and paralyzing yourself for life.

Eight days after a 6-year-old boy was killed at a monster truck rally in Tacoma, WA, a promoter was struck and killed this weekend at ...

More than 55,000 Americans lost their jobs Monday, with companies such as Caterpillar, Sprint, and Home Depot each laying off several thousand...

Doctors have found a type of brain damage usually associated with boxers in six NFL players who died at age 50 or younger. What do ...

The second set of octuplets born in the United States is doing well, with all reportedly breathing on their own. What do you think?