SETH’S BEDROOM—"I am more powerful than the most powerful man on earth, who is me," shouted Huntarr the Warrior, after performing the splits ...

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—In addition to his insistence on mission coordinates being accurate, John Wilkins reportedly spends all his time obsessing about Discovery’s computers.

PASADENA, CA—After estimating that he had held her long enough, Dan Rudloff quickly found a suitable candidate to whom he could relinquish control of ...

PORTLAND, OR—After carefully examining every inch of sidewalk within a four block radius of his home Tuesday, local dog Sigmund, 4, finally...

NEW YORK—Rather than bestowing a final, icy tap to Caroline Kennedy's unsuspecting clavicle, the ethereal entity known as Death suddenly...

CHICAGO—Concerned about Derek Hodge's future and his ability to ultimately succeed in life, Taft High School guidance counselor Janice...

CARBONDALE, PA—Local throat-clearer Leon Pollack, 32, confirmed with reporters Tuesday that he planned to see the 6:15 p.m. showing of the...

WASHINGTON—Following Barack Obama's appointment to his cabinet of several veteran Clinton administration officials and a number of others...

DENVER—After receiving the device intended to alert him when his family's table at the Cheesecake Factory was ready, local father Timothy...

SEATTLE—After devoting nearly a decade of his life to brown-nosing and back-scratching every person who might have the authority to promote...

WASHINGTON—Honoring one of the longest-standing rituals in American history, former presidents Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton,...

Next week, Paramount Pictures is releasing a newly retooled Friday The 13th, produced by Michael Bay and directed by Marcus Nispel, who...

Dear Wise Old Navajo Man Who Could Really Go For A Hamburger Right Now, My husband and I take lots of vacations together. It...

SILVER SPRING, MD—In Onion Sports: Feisty, athletic, enthusiastic, dreadlocked: Little Troy Pupamalu was the deciding factor in this year's Puppy Bowl.

TAMPA BAY, FL—After losing 27-23 to the Steelers in a hard-fought Super Bowl, Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt boldly addressed the Cardinals'...

PITTSBURGH—In a torrent of emotion that both blanked out Kenneth Weiss' memory and skewed his judgment, the longtime Steelers fan declared...

SAN FRANCISCO—When asked which team she wanted to win the NFL's most coveted prize, local girlfriend and Super Bowl party attendee Christy...

OLD TAPPAN, NJ—As friends and family members argued over the quality of a Pepsi Super Bowl ad that juxtaposed images of Bob Dylan and...

TAMPA BAY, FL—Seasonal prognosticator of all seasonal prognosticators Mike Holmgren, commonly known as "San Fran Mike," emerged from his...

Santonio Holmes was named the Super Bowl XLIII MVP, but is this gritty receiver really any good?

Our panelists debate whether TV programs like A Double Shot At Love and The Bad Girls Club depict unattainable levels of skankiness.

The Giants Coach said he valued the years he spent with his family, but wants to focus on more important things now.

Last week, Barack Obama called Wall Street executives who awarded themselves $18.4 billion at the end of 2008 as "shameful." What do you...

President Obama's pick for secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle, has received almost a quarter million dollars in speaking fees from...

Comcast cable subscribers in Tucson, AZ were surprised when a 30-second clip of a woman taking a man's erect penis out of his pants ...

With no breakout hit and theme park attendance down, Walt Disney's fiscal first-quarter earnings were down 32 percent compared to the same period...

News reports suggest Aribert Heim, a Nazi war criminal known as Dr. Death, died in Cairo in 1992. What do you think?

Congress voted to move the conversion to digital television from Feb. 17 to June 12 because of a shortage of government funding for coupons that ...