The Week In Review

Top Headlines

Issue 4519

Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel

BURBANK, CA—Producers said that not only would they do everything in their power to make the sequel the most repellent, soulless, pandering film ever released, but that all of the resources of the Walt Disney Company would be dedicated to promoting the film.

Sun Goes Out For A Few Seconds

TUCSON, AZ—Officials at the Kitt Peak National Observatory are saying that, while the short period of utter darkness and intense cold was...

College Sports Cutbacks

As the economy founders, we look at some of the ways the athletic departments of our nation's universities are tightening their belts:...

Alexander Ovechkin

The NHL's fast, agile, accurate 2008 MVP is well on his way to being 2009's MVP as well. Is he any good?

Kerry Begins Newspaper Hearings

In light of recent newspaper closures, Sen. John Kerry is holding hearings this week about the struggling print journalism industry. Here are...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.