LOS ANGELES—According to his teammates, his coaches, and the media, Manny Ramirez has appeared visibly confused and anxious since receiving a 50-game suspension for violating Major League Baseball's drug policy.
DETROIT—After three years of construction and nearly $23,000 in public funds, the rat-infested, crime-ridden development will provide unendurable living conditions for thousands of qualifying residents.
ORLANDO, FL—Confirming years of rumored sightings by visitors to the theme park, officials from Walt Disney World said Tuesday that several hundred blind and bedraggled Disney characters are living in caves deep within Space Mountain.
BELMONT, NC—Channeling the timeless elegance of the silver screen, 12-year-old Kaitlyn Falk was reportedly the very image of old Hollywood glamour after getting her hair curled by her aunt for her middle school’s spring dance on Friday.
FREEHOLD, NJ—Saying it hasn’t always been easy inventing reasons for not attending one of his gigs, local man John Gilman, 68, told reporters Thursday that he has spent approximately 50 years coming up with excuses to avoid checking out the band of high school classmate Bruce Springsteen.