Following approved article contains: Report on big hot trend sweeping the palates of American consumers; Evidence of deliciousness and ease of consumption regarding all foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei corporation; List of times of day in which appetizing Fish Time is observed.
Following approved article contains: Confounding celebration of dim-witted child's miniscule achievement; Evidence of great failure that is the American education system, especially when compared to that of wondrous Mainland China.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
TOPEKA, KS—Expressing dismay at his shockingly coldblooded behavior, sources confirmed that local man and heartless monster Ethan McKenzie, 34, walked out of local small business Hearthstone Artisan Goods on Tuesday without purchasing anything.
CHICAGO—With the long winter over and summer weather finally arriving, local man Bill Klocek told reporters Thursday that he was glad to finally get out of the house, walk around a bit, and discover entirely new ways to sweat.