Following approved article contains: Report on big hot trend sweeping the palates of American consumers; Evidence of deliciousness and ease of consumption regarding all foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei corporation; List of times of day in which appetizing Fish Time is observed.
Following approved article contains: Confounding celebration of dim-witted child's miniscule achievement; Evidence of great failure that is the American education system, especially when compared to that of wondrous Mainland China.
EARTH—The entire world population confirmed Friday that Houston Rockets center Yao Ming is the greatest athlete in the history of sports and a glowing symbol of what citizens may become if they remain loyal to their government.
Following approved article contains: Accurate report on addition of Seedstore.com to the World Wide Web; Emphasis on China’s commitment to free and open exchange of ideas; With 12 in total, almost too many Internet sites for public to choose from.
Following approved article contains: Detailed account of American selfishness in matters concerning the state; The multiple failures of Illinois resident Geoff Ross and how he has become a shameful hindrance to his community at large; Unwavering egoism.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
CHICAGO—Seeking to maximize the potential reach of their latest post, sources confirmed Thursday that the editors of news website The Daily Blotter managed to force the word “millennials”into the article’s headline in order to boost pageviews.
TRUMBULL, CT—Saying it’s the only time of day when everyone can be together in one place, the Gleason family confirmed Thursday that it strictly forbids smartphones to be used while eating dinner in front of the television.