NAPERVILLE—Although the extent of the injury has not yet been determined, seventh-grade sources said that it was totally gushing blood and would probably need ...

MARGATE, FL—Senior Chris Payack claims to have imparted much wisdom to the freshman, including the locations of bathrooms with working locks on the stalls ...

PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI—Organizers of the LXXXI Olympiad, which would be held in the capital city of Port-au-Prince, said the event will showcase the many attractions ...

WYOMING—Hundreds of buffalo thundered across the Wyoming plains Thursday after news of actress Jenna Elfman's latest sitcom, Accidentally...

NEWARK, DE—University of Delaware freshman Jared Kramer was overheard referring to dormitory Wolfington-Packard Hall by its full name...

WILMINGTON, DE—According to sources at local restaurant Deep Blue, a table of four harpies perched near the window emitted shrill, ungodly...

WASHINGTON—According to an incident report filed by the Secret Service, special agents responded early Wednesday morning to a distress call...

HAMAMATSU, JAPAN—Despite concerns over the recent global recession, Yamaha Corporation president Mitsuru Umemura announced last week that he...

As the academic year begins, here is a survey of the most popular classes at colleges around the country: University of...

Dear College Professor Having Trouble With The Audiovisual Equipment, Our son is at sleepaway camp this week, and I think he's...

SOUTH BEND, IN—During Wednesday's afternoon practice, 17-year-old Brian Novak, a 145-pound walk-on for the struggling Notre Dame football team, injured nine starters, including ...

FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a rare show of emotion, Patriots coach Bill Belichick began to cry during linebacker Tedy Bruschi's farewell press conference Monday, shedding ...

TUCSON, AZ—In an effort to impress his new University of Arizona teammates, Wildcats freshman point guard Lamont Jones was already referring...

SAN FRANCISCO—In what was described as a "total fucking rip-off," collector Kirk Poole purchased a pack of Topps baseball cards containing not one, but ...

TAMPA, FL—Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis reportedly prevented everyone on the team bus from sleeping Monday when he loudly described in disgusting detail the ...

BRECKSVILLE, OH—Local man and casual baseball fan Leon Markham confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he has definitely heard the name of baseball player Andre ...

Praying no one notices games scheduled against Ohio Tech and Nichigan State

Colt McCoy is the starting quarterback for the University of Texas and a Heisman Trophy contender. Is he any good?

'E-Mom' Gloria Bianco shows Jim and Tracy how geographical distance is no longer a roadblock to shamelessly interfering with the lives of your children.

Thirty thousand employees of the United States Postal Service have been offered a $15,000 incentive to quit, which would save the troubled agency...

A recent fundraising mailer for the Republican National Committee was accompanied by a questionnaire which intimated that any health care reform may...

Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke was one of the victims of a nationwide identity-fraud ring that stole $2.1 million from consumers and...

Forty-two-year-old Michelle Duggar of the TLC show 18 Kids And Counting is expecting a 19th child in March. What do you think?

An overloaded Google router caused a shutdown of Gmail on Tuesday, affecting 150 million users for nearly two hours. What do you think?