Shrewd Umpire Not About To Be Fooled By Catcher Moving Glove Into Strike Zone

Top Headlines

Issue 4538

Troy Polamalu All Over Orthopedic Clinic

PITTSBURGH—Steelers safety Troy Polamalu reportedly wreaked havoc on the Tri-State Orthopedics Clinic Monday, flailing around wildly on his crutches and violently knocking over unsuspecting physical therapy patients while rehabilitating the sprained medial collateral ligament in his left knee.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Protection

  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

Originality

Shrewd Umpire Not About To Be Fooled By Catcher Moving Glove Into Strike Zone

SAN FRANCISCO—In a statement issued after Wednesday night's Rockies-Giants contest, home plate umpire Laz Diaz warned all catchers around the league that he is "onto their little game," and is easily able to tell when they slyly move their glove into the strike zone after catching a pitch off the plate. "You catchers seem to think that I was born yesterday," the statement, which called the catchers' tactics "dishonest, immature, and tantamount to cheating," read in part. "Some of you even believe you can fool me by holding your glove there for an extra long time, as if to say, 'See, I'm holding it here like this because it was a strike.' Well, this umpire is not falling for that. Not today, not ever." Diaz further stated that a batter who removes his elbow protector, drops his bat, and begins heading to first base will never coax him into calling ball four.