Greed In America

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Issue 4539

Cat Congress Mired In Sunbeam

WASHINGTON—"We've come up against an unforeseen circumstance, but we'll resume deliberation and voting as quickly as is reasonably possible," said majority leader and Budget Committee chaircat Sen. Creamsicle (D-ND), stretching out to his entire length and repeatedly kneading the chamber carpet.

Tim Lincecum

At 14-6, the San Francisco Giants ace is in contention for a second Cy Young Award. Is he any good?

Dallas Cowboys Release Jerry Jones

IRVING, TEXAS—In an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with controversial owner Jerry Jones Monday, ending their tumultuous 20-year relationship with the divisive figure.

P.S. I Love You

So where were you on the night of Sept. 14, when you first heard the news? Were you, like me, sitting at the kitchen table watching E! and...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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