Mickey Mouse Noticeably Avoids A-Rod During Trip To Disney World

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Issue 4546

JaMarcus Russell

So far in 2009, the struggling Raiders quarterback has two TDs, nine interceptions, and a rating of 48.3. Is he any good?

BREAKING: U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs

WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who has been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs for 48 years.

Nicolas Cage Broke

Owing $6.3 million in back taxes and facing financial ruin, Nicolas Cage, star of such hit films as Ghost Rider,...
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Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Mickey Mouse Noticeably Avoids A-Rod During Trip To Disney World

ORLANDO, FL—Members of the Yankees couldn't help but notice that the resort's iconic mascot Mickey Mouse made a special effort to avoid Alex Rodriguez during the team's trip to Walt Disney World to celebrate its World Series victory. "I thought it was weird that whenever Alex would yell, 'Mickey, over here,' Mickey would just walk in the opposite direction," said teammate Johnny Damon, adding that he would never have noticed Mickey's many attempts to avoid the third baseman had Rodriguez not been following the cartoon character around with a little autograph book. "But then we had breakfast with the characters, and Mickey went around and hugged Derek [Jeter] and Mark [Teixeira], even our bullpen catcher. Then he just kind of peeled off when he got to A-Rod." Rodriguez was later seen having an intense, one-sided conversation with Rescue Rangers Chip and Dale about being a famous athlete living in New York City.