World Inspired By First Snowman To Win Luge

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Issue 4606

Forgotten Assyrian God Revived To Name Sports Drink

NEW YORK—Powerade representatives said it was Nisroch's pronounced calf muscle in various depictions from the eighth century B.C. that initially attracted them to the once highly revered eagle-headed farming deity.

Rachael Flatt vs. Kim Yu-Na

It's America's Sweetheart versus the presumed sweetheart of the rest of the world as figure skaters Rachael Flatt and Kim Yu-na square off in Vancouver.

Valentine's Day Specials

This time of year, couples can take advantage of the great Valentine's deals many businesses have to offer. Here are some of the bargains that are available.

Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs

BENTONVILLE, AR—"First, we tried cutting what is hard for me in good conscience to even call benefits,” said Wal-Mart CEO Mike Duke. "We even tried negotiating with what we would probably refer to as the workers' union if, in fact, they even had such a thing."

NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—NASA officials announced today the successful launch of the new shuttle Moonage Daydream, marking the beginning of a long-anticipated two-week conceptual mission inspired by British rock star David Bowie.
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Special Coverage


  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

World Inspired By First Snowman To Win Luge

VANCOUVER—In what has become the most inspiring story at the XXI Winter Olympiad, the luge was won Sunday by the most unlikely of competitors: Tom, a snowman rolled together just two days earlier by the Kansy family of Vancouver. "Another barrier falls, marking a historic day for iced people everywhere," was the call from NBC's Bob Costas as Tom took the top spot on the Olympic victory podium. "Tom has proven it matters not the composition of your skin, only whether you are capable of competing at the highest possible level. He entered these Olympics as Tom the Snowman, but history will remember him as Tom the Luger." Tom was unavailable for comment as the Kansy family had only given him a twig for a mouth.