GREENVILLE, SC—NASCAR continued to sucessfully hide its Drive for Diversity minority-involvement program from fans last week by very quietly congratulating driver Darrell Wallace, Jr. on becoming the first African-American...
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Host Kevin O'Connor strolls silently through a just-completed Spanish Revival home, nodding in appreciation of the fine workmanship that should go decades without needing repairs.
WASHINGTON—In an effort to reach out to a previously untapped customer base, the struggling United States Postal Service announced Tuesday that it would extend its business hours to 3 a.m. to meet America’s late-night mailing demands.
NEW YORK—Players, coaches, fans, and Commissioner Bud Selig expressed concern for the state of professional baseball Monday after MLB's highly anticipated Opening Day was "completely ruined" by a rash of strikeouts that began during the afternoon games and didn't end until the day was over.
TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one's voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly.
ASHLAND, OH—-A night of forced binge drinking and other dangerous initiation rituals ended in horrible tragedy Tuesday when pledge member Steven Paulson, 18, was accepted into Ashland University's Delta Tau Theta fraternity.
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The caring staff tries to find a home for one of its hardest cases: Alfie, a 6-year-old German shepherd with nervous chewing and the power to foretell the date of your death.
WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice.
Aries They say that God lives inside each and every one of us. Keep digging away until you find Him.
Taurus Your fear and distrust of banks will result in you keeping all of your money, blood, and sperm beneath your matt...
VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.
SMYRNA, DE—Saying he needed to be transported to a tranquil, untroubled state of calmness pronto, local man Pete McCartin, 29, told reporters Thursday that a fresh-brewed mug of purportedly relaxation-promoting tea had better fucking work.
WASHINGTON—Alarmed by the sudden change in his thinking and behavior, White House aides said Tuesday that they were concerned about President Trump’s declining mental health after he admitted he may not be an omnipotent living god.a