WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to make America's natural wonders available to all citizens, the Department of the Interior announced Monday the creation of ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Welcome news for America's much-maligned educational system arrived Monday, when a Department of Education study revealed that U.S. students rank first ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Speaking before the U.S. Senate Tuesday, Herbert Macallum, a retired Wichita, KS, insurance salesman and Navy veteran who fought during World War ...

PHILADELPHIA—America has 15 veterinarians per 1,000 dogs, compared to Rwanda's one doctor per 1,000 humans.

The controversial decision, the first of its kind in the 210-year history of U.S. representative government, was, according to Justice David Souter, "a response ...

NORFOLK, VA—Gun owners nationwide are applauding the patriotic, though accidental, exercise of Second Amendment rights by 8-year-old Timothy Cummings Tuesday.

WASHINGTON, DC—In yet another victory for America, the bill that makes its greatness official passed Congress Monday.

Throughout its 224-year history, America has had many channels of discourse, its citizens expressing themselves by means ranging from pamphlets to protests, newspaper editorials to ...

FAYETVILLE, AR—Local resident Carl Sutton has the unique and patriotic ability to name all 50 United States.

WASHINGTON, DC—Assuring the nation that "there is no need for alarm," the Office of Homeland Security issued all U.S. citizens life jackets for ...

WASHINGTON, DC—After nearly three decades in exile, King William IV returned to the U.S. to reclaim his throne Monday.

KIRKSVILLE, MO—Jon Strauss, 22, a Kirksville video-store manager, announced Monday that he supports U.S. troops "100 percent"—with the exception of the ones ...

FARGO, ND—Representatives from the North Dakota Department of Commerce attended a ribbon-cutting ceremony Saturday for the new Strip Mall Of America, the state's ...

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Americans gathered Monday to discuss their feelings of heartbreak, anger, and resentment toward America's sweetheart Kirsten Dunst, after the film star broke ...

WASHINGTON, DC—The other side of Article I provides dining options for children under the age of 7.

BURBANK, CA—The long-standing economic, political and social divisions between blacks and whites in America at long last ended Monday with a TV producer's ...

NEW YORK—Teach For America has devoured another ethnic-studies major, 24-year-old Andy Cuellen reported.

WASHINGTON, DC—Following the success of its 50 State Quarters program—deemed one of the most popular commemorative-coin programs in American history—the U.S ...

MARSHFIELD, MA—News analysts credit local resident Beverly Tollefsen's media success to her prime position on the corner of Webster Street.

WASHINGTON, DC—Few respondents expressed strong feelings, but most thought dissolving the union would "be a lot easier for everyone."

WASHINGTON, DC–A new study suggests that abandonment issues going back more than two centuries may be fueling the country's aggressive tendencies.

NEW YORK—The online encyclopedia commemorates and illuminates the vision of founding fathers Jefferson, Madison, and Chuck Norris.

ATLANTA, GA—Bouts of wanderlust and deep yearning have led a majority of RHS sufferers to head off in the direction of them twinklin' stars.

CHICAGO—Producers have documented every single existential crisis or self-congratulatory epiphany that has been or could be experienced by a left-leaning agnostic.

WASHINGTON, DC —Thanks to the group's tireless efforts, six generations of civilians have never known the cruelty and duress of quartering unruly foot-soldiers.

WASHINGTON, DC­—Myers spent much of his reign, which lasted from approximately 2:00 p.m. to 2:15 p.m., spinning in circles in ...

WASHINGTON—"There are people out there who love us, and they're coming after us," said a blushing John Michael McConnell, director of national intelligence.

WASHINGTON—"With the economy and all these other problems on our minds, there's no point getting riled up about politics," Pittsburgh resident Eric Daniels ...

GREAT BROOK FARM STATE PARK, MA—"'Tis has been a long and bitter struggle with our foolhardy American cousins," said 2nd Lt. Henry Bertram of ...

WICHITA FALLS, TX—"I have nothing personal against Americans," said Texas Governor Rick Perry. "I just think they should stay in America, where they belong."

ESCONDIDO, CA—Provoked by a presidential administration he believes is guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 46, has become a vehement defender ...

WASHINGTON—Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed ...

WASHINGTON—All across the country, from Maine to Mississippi, sources confirmed this week that last time they checked this was still America, and would remain ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress officially changed the nation ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to streamline federal affairs and give the government a much-needed shot in the arm, the three federal branches inked an unprecedented $12 ...

DUBUQUE, IA—An era came to an end Tuesday when Pat's Place, the nation's last themeless restaurant, closed its doors in Dubuque. "We ...

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Pride and Self-Worth, the nation's dignity reserves stand at an ...

WASHINGTON, DC–A federal study released Monday finds that for the first time in U.S. history, apathy has supplanted lust as the nation's ...

WASHINGTON, DC–According to a report released Tuesday by the Pentagon, Communists rank last on a list of 238 threats to national security. "Communists may ...

WASHINGTON, DC–The Army's new "Army Of One" campaign is attracting millions of troubled loners, recruitment officials said Monday. "Historically, Army enlistees are creepy ...

NEW YORK–Narrowly edging out 7135, 3822 is the nation's favorite personal-identification number, according to the August issue of Money. "Random-seeming yet easy to ...

WASHINGTON, DC— In a strongly worded ultimatum Tuesday, President Bush warned the Arab world to "stop hating the United States or suffer the consequences." "You ...

CAMP COYOTE, KUWAIT—With blacks and Hispanics comprising more than 60 percent of the Army's ground forces in Iraq, the U.S. military is ...

LUXEMBOURG VILLE, LUXEMBOURG—In an effort to quiet criticism of U.S. military policy, 50,000 U.S. troops invaded and soundly defeated the non-oil-rich ...

CAMBRIDGE, MA—The results of a USA Today-CNN-Gallup poll released Monday show that 66 percent of Americans object to the use of torture during ...

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report by the Bureau of Accessory Statistics, each year the U.S. loses more pairs of sunglasses per person than ...

EAST ST. LOUIS, MO—Army Staff Sergeant Declan Morris announced that he has "no idea what to think" concerning potential recruit Justin...

ATLANTA—CNN officials announced that they will be carrying the popular news show This Week At War through the 2014 season. "We're...

WASHINGTON—During a press conference Monday, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson unveiled this year's shipment of brand-new $2 bills, all of...

WASHINGTON—The U.S. Navy announced Monday that field tests of a cool new "ping" sound, a $3 billion project in development since the Cold ...

USS STENNIS, PERSIAN GULF—U.S. Iran War Czar Gen. Glenn Jacobs, the general director of the U.S. Center of the Invasion of

WASHINGTON—After spending another anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks at work, many across the country have begun to secretly hope...

ONN's Terrorism Expert Omar Al-Farouq explains how Al Qaeda's love for the beloved teen vampire series prevented the death of thousands.

Susan Eckman from The National Archives comes on Today Now! to share newly discovered National Anthem verses about brutally decapitating enemies during the War of ...

More and more companies are requiring job applicants to already have a job.

In a recent study, 50 percent of children said that food from packages adorned with one of their favorite cartoon characters, like Dora the Explorer ...

More and more companies are requiring job applicants to already have a job.

The State of California is currently considering a plan to issue digital license plates that would display advertising when a car is stopped for more ...

A University of Wisconsin study found that when prisoners exhibiting psychopathic tendencies played decision-making games, they used the same strategies as people who had suffered ...