Issue 4626 - 06.28.2010 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Supreme Court Rules Supreme Court Rules

WASHINGTON, DC—In a landmark decision Monday, the United States Supreme Court ruled 8-1 that it rules.

…

New National Parks Website Makes National Parks Obsolete

ISSUE 46•52 ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 31•16 | 04.30.97 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to make America's natural wonders available to all citizens, the Department of the Interior announced Monday the creation of a $2 million National Parks Website. more»
Report: U.S. Students Lead World In TV Jingle Recall

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 31•23 | 07.09.97 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Welcome news for America's much-maligned educational system arrived Monday, when a Department of Education study revealed that U.S. students rank first in the world in the field of TV jingle recall. more»
Man Who Fought For Americans' Rights Demands Americans Stop Exercising Their Rights

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 34•02 | 08.12.98 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Speaking before the U.S. Senate Tuesday, Herbert Macallum, a retired Wichita, KS, insurance salesman and Navy veteran who fought during World War II to protect the inalienable rights of all Americans, demanded that U.S. citizens stop exercising those rights. more»
Study: U.S. Pets' Healthcare Better Than Rwandan Humans'

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 34•14 | 11.04.98 | News

PHILADELPHIA—America has 15 veterinarians per 1,000 dogs, compared to Rwanda's one doctor per 1,000 humans. more»
American People Ruled Unfit To Govern

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 35•14 | 04.14.99 | News

The controversial decision, the first of its kind in the 210-year history of U.S. representative government, was, according to Justice David Souter, "a response to the clear, demonstrable incompetence and indifference of the current U.S. citizenry in matters concerning the operation of this nation's government." more»
8-Year-Old Accidentally Exercises Second Amendment Rights

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 35•20 | 05.26.99 | News

NORFOLK, VA—Gun owners nationwide are applauding the patriotic, though accidental, exercise of Second Amendment rights by 8-year-old Timothy Cummings Tuesday. more»
Congress Passes 'America Is #1' Bill

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 35•36 | 10.06.99 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—In yet another victory for America, the bill that makes its greatness official passed Congress Monday. more»
'Peeing Calvin' Decals Now Recognized As Vital Channel Of National Discourse

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 36•12 | 04.05.00 | News

Throughout its 224-year history, America has had many channels of discourse, its citizens expressing themselves by means ranging from pamphlets to protests, newspaper editorials to televised debates. In recent years, however, a significant new avenue of expression has emerged: "Peeing Calvin" decals. more»
Hero Citizen Can Name All 50 States

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 37•13 | 04.11.01 | News

FAYETVILLE, AR—Local resident Carl Sutton has the unique and patriotic ability to name all 50 United States. more»
Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 38•21 | 06.05.02 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Assuring the nation that "there is no need for alarm," the Office of Homeland Security issued all U.S. citizens life jackets for some unexplained reason Monday. more»
Exiled American King Triumphantly Returns To Washington

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 38•31 | 08.28.02 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—After nearly three decades in exile, King William IV returned to the U.S. to reclaim his throne Monday. more»
Area Man Supports The Troops He Didn't Go To High School With

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 39•14 | 04.16.03 | News

KIRKSVILLE, MO—Jon Strauss, 22, a Kirksville video-store manager, announced Monday that he supports U.S. troops "100 percent"—with the exception of the ones with whom he went to high school. more»
New Strip Mall Of America Stretches Over 1/6th Of North Dakota

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 40•13 | 03.31.04 | News

FARGO, ND—Representatives from the North Dakota Department of Commerce attended a ribbon-cutting ceremony Saturday for the new Strip Mall Of America, the state's largest shopping center to date. more»
America's Sweetheart Dumps U.S. For Some Douchebag

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 40•33 | 08.18.04 | News

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Americans gathered Monday to discuss their feelings of heartbreak, anger, and resentment toward America's sweetheart Kirsten Dunst, after the film star broke up with the U.S. to be with some douchebag that everyone thought was gay. more»
Historians Discover Children's Menu On Back Of U.S. Constitution

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 40•35 | 09.01.04 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—The other side of Article I provides dining options for children under the age of 7. more»
Racial Harmony Achieved By Casting Of Black Actor As Teen Computer Whiz

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•02 | 01.12.05 | News

BURBANK, CA—The long-standing economic, political and social divisions between blacks and whites in America at long last ended Monday with a TV producer's casting of a black actor in a bit part as a teen computer-whiz archetype. more»
Teach For America Chews Up, Spits Out Another Ethnic-Studies Major

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•07 | 02.16.05 | News

NEW YORK—Teach For America has devoured another ethnic-studies major, 24-year-old Andy Cuellen reported. more»
U.S. Mint Gears Up To Issue Commemorative County Pennies

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•18 | 05.04.05 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Following the success of its 50 State Quarters program—deemed one of the most popular commemorative-coin programs in American history—the U.S. Mint announced its next ambitious project: releasing a unique penny for every county in the nation. more»
Poll: More Americans Getting Their News From Bev

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•42 | 10.19.05 | News

MARSHFIELD, MA—News analysts credit local resident Beverly Tollefsen's media success to her prime position on the corner of Webster Street. more»
New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 42•11 | 03.13.06 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Few respondents expressed strong feelings, but most thought dissolving the union would "be a lot easier for everyone." more»
Report: U.S. May Have Been Abused During Formative Years

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 42•25 | 06.21.06 | News

WASHINGTON, DC–A new study suggests that abandonment issues going back more than two centuries may be fueling the country's aggressive tendencies. more»
Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 42•30 | 07.26.06 | News

NEW YORK—The online encyclopedia commemorates and illuminates the vision of founding fathers Jefferson, Madison, and Chuck Norris. more»
America's Cowboys Suffering From Restless Heart Syndrome

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 42•45 | 11.03.06 | News

ATLANTA, GA—Bouts of wanderlust and deep yearning have led a majority of RHS sufferers to head off in the direction of them twinklin' stars. more»
'This American Life' Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•16 | 04.20.07 | News

CHICAGO—Producers have documented every single existential crisis or self-congratulatory epiphany that has been or could be experienced by a left-leaning agnostic. more»
Third Amendment Rights Group Celebrates Another Successful Year

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•40 | 10.05.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC —Thanks to the group's tireless efforts, six generations of civilians have never known the cruelty and duress of quartering unruly foot-soldiers. more»
Child On White House Tour Momentarily Seizes Control Of Nation

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•44 | 10.31.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Myers spent much of his reign, which lasted from approximately 2:00 p.m. to 2:15 p.m., spinning in circles in the president's chair. more»
CIA: America May Have An Unknown Number Of Secret Admirers

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•48 | 11.28.07 | News

WASHINGTON—"There are people out there who love us, and they're coming after us," said a blushing John Michael McConnell, director of national intelligence. more»
Nation Agrees Not To Talk About Politics

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 44•16 | 04.18.08 | News

WASHINGTON—"With the economy and all these other problems on our minds, there's no point getting riled up about politics," Pittsburgh resident Eric Daniels said. more»
Redcoat Holdouts Still Fighting American Revolution

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 45•11 | 03.13.09 | News

GREAT BROOK FARM STATE PARK, MA—"'Tis has been a long and bitter struggle with our foolhardy American cousins," said 2nd Lt. Henry Bertram of King George III's Royal British Army. more»
Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 45•21 | 05.19.09 | News

WICHITA FALLS, TX—"I have nothing personal against Americans," said Texas Governor Rick Perry. "I just think they should stay in America, where they belong." more»
Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 45•46 | 11.14.09 | News

ESCONDIDO, CA—Provoked by a presidential administration he believes is guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 46, has become a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head. more»
U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 46•15 | 04.13.10 | News

WASHINGTON—Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed directly to the faulty U.S. models, which have been utilized extensively since the 18th century in sectors as diverse as government, the military, and public education. more»
Last Time Sources Checked This Still America

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 46•22 | 06.05.10 | News

WASHINGTON—All across the country, from Maine to Mississippi, sources confirmed this week that last time they checked this was still America, and would remain America, like it or not. more»
Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 31•16 | 04.30.97 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress officially changed the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica Monday. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works by composer Glenn Danzig, tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon." more»
Executive, Legislative, Judicial Branches Merge

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 32•01 | 08.05.97 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to streamline federal affairs and give the government a much-needed shot in the arm, the three federal branches inked an unprecedented $12 trillion merger deal Monday. "No more will the three branches bicker and argue and overrule each other," President Clinton said of the merger, reportedly the largest of its kind since last year's ABC-Disney deal. "This merger should give the federal government tremendous synergy, a kind of 'cross-pollinization' that the framers of the Constitution never envisioned when they developed the now-antiquated system of 'checks and balances' so long ago." In the first major move since the merger's announcement, on Tuesday Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer ordered mandatory military conscription for all adult males in preparation for a September invasion of Iraq. more»
Nation's Last Themeless Restaurant Closes

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 33•14 | 04.15.98 | News in Brief

DUBUQUE, IA—An era came to an end Tuesday when Pat's Place, the nation's last themeless restaurant, closed its doors in Dubuque. "We achieved a certain local notoriety for our unique non-themed food and unadorned atmosphere," said owner Patrick Baines, "but sales were sluggish, as most people would just come in to gawk at our photoless walls and mundanely named menu items like 'hamburger' and 'pancakes.' Then they would head over to the Rainforest Cafe, Hard Rock Cafe, Planet Hollywood, All-Star Cafe, Johnny Rocket's or Disney Cafe down the street." Once vacated by Baines, the building will become home to Dubuque's seventh Paddy O'Touchdown's Irish Sports Bar & Good-Tyme Internet Grill. more»
U.S. Dignity Reserves Nearly Depleted

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 34•09 | 09.30.98 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Pride and Self-Worth, the nation's dignity reserves stand at an all-time low, and emergency dignity reservoirs may have to be tapped as soon as next month. "America is in the midst of a dignity crisis the likes of which it has never seen," said DPSW Secretary Bruce Collins, eating a bag of Taco Bell Steak Gorditas and wearing a "Show Me The Money!" T-shirt. "Over the past decade, the number of Americans with no shame whatsoever has gone through the roof." more»
Apathy Outpacing Lust As Leading U.S. State Of Mind

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 36•30 | 08.30.00 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–A federal study released Monday finds that for the first time in U.S. history, apathy has supplanted lust as the nation's leading state of mind. "It appears that the average citizen is now too apathetic to even pursue sex," the study read. "At the moment, there just isn't much that we as a people give a flying fuck about." The study was based on phone surveys, brainwave analyses, and the recent ratings victory of CBS's JAG over the Democratic National Convention. more»
Communists Now Least Threatening Group In U.S.

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 36•46 | 12.20.00 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–According to a report released Tuesday by the Pentagon, Communists rank last on a list of 238 threats to national security. "Communists may now safely be ignored," Secretary of Defense William Cohen said. "The Red Menace has been surpassed by militia groups, religious extremists, ecoterrorists, cybercriminals, Hollywood producers, and angry drivers." Other groups deemed more threatening than Communists include rap-metal bands (#96), escaped zoo animals (#202), and Belgians (#237). more»
'Army Of One' Campaign Attracting Troubled Loners To Military

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 37•05 | 02.14.01 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–The Army's new "Army Of One" campaign is attracting millions of troubled loners, recruitment officials said Monday. "Historically, Army enlistees are creepy, antisocial drifters," said Sgt. Glenn Decinces of the Army's Recruitment Office. "After years of trying to attract stable, achievement-oriented young patriots with the slogan 'Be All You Can Be,' we finally gave up and decided to consciously go after the freakos we've always drawn." more»
3822 Voted America's Favorite PIN Number

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 37•26 | 08.01.01 | News in Brief

NEW YORK–Narrowly edging out 7135, 3822 is the nation's favorite personal-identification number, according to the August issue of Money. "Random-seeming yet easy to remember, 3822 is the 'PIN that's in' for 2001 and beyond," read a cover story revealing the results of the publication's "2001 Money PIN Poll." "I've never gone wrong punching in 3822," Harrisburg, PA, retiree Nancy Polk said. "Whether I'm withdrawing money for my hip medication or taking out a big chunk of my life savings for a casino trip, 3822 is the number that gets me there." more»
U.S. To Arab World: 'Stop Hating Us Or Suffer The Consequences'

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 37•41 | 11.14.01 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC— In a strongly worded ultimatum Tuesday, President Bush warned the Arab world to "stop hating the United States or suffer the consequences." "You have exactly 10 days to put aside your deep-rooted resentment and rage toward America and learn to like us," said Bush in a message broadcast live to 17 Arab nations via Al Jazeera. "If you fail to comply, prepare to have the full might of the U.S. military brought down upon you." Bush also threatened to carpet-bomb any Arab region whose populace continues to be angry about America's longtime bombing campaign against Iraq and the decade-long U.S. sanctions that have led to the malnutrition deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqi children. more»
U.S. Continues Proud Tradition Of Diversity On Front Lines

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 39•11 | 03.26.03 | News in Brief

CAMP COYOTE, KUWAIT—With blacks and Hispanics comprising more than 60 percent of the Army's ground forces in Iraq, the U.S. military is continuing its long, proud tradition of multiculturalism on the front lines of war. "Though racism and discrimination remain problems in society at large, in the military—especially in the lower ranks where you find the cannon fodder—a spirit of inclusiveness has prevailed for decades," Gen. Jim White said Monday. "When it comes to having your head blown off by enemy fire, America is truly colorblind." more»
U.S. Invades Non-Oil-Rich Nation To Dispel Criticism

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 39•37 | 09.24.03 | News in Brief

LUXEMBOURG VILLE, LUXEMBOURG—In an effort to quiet criticism of U.S. military policy, 50,000 U.S. troops invaded and soundly defeated the non-oil-rich Grand Duchy of Luxembourg Monday. "Once again, the U.S. claims victory over a rogue nation," said President Bush after the 45-minute war. "The people of Luxembourg, although prosperous and living in peace, have suffered under the tyranny of a monarchy for centuries. And allow me to point out that Luxembourg has not one drop of crude oil." Troops will return home Friday, following the public hanging of Grand Duke Henri de Luxembourg. more»
66 Percent Of U.S. Citizens Object To Torture In Nonetheless Frightening Poll

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 40•24 | 06.16.04 | News in Brief

CAMBRIDGE, MA—The results of a USA Today-CNN-Gallup poll released Monday show that 66 percent of Americans object to the use of torture during times of war. "We can be proud that the majority of citizens stand against our military personnel's use of torture," Harvard statistician William Stover said. "And it's somewhat comforting that, of the 34 percent of Americans who advocate torture, 72 percent said it should be used only when other methods of discipline have failed." Reassuringly, 97 percent of Americans were against the torture of U.S. soldiers or citizens by non-Americans. more»
Report: U.S. Leads World In Lost Sunglasses

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•18 | 05.04.05 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report by the Bureau of Accessory Statistics, each year the U.S. loses more pairs of sunglasses per person than any other nation. "Over 1.6 billion pairs of sunglasses are lost by Americans concerned with shielding their eyes from excess light and harmful UVA radiation," the report read. "This works out to six pairs of sunglasses per American per year, or 50 pairs of sunglasses lost every second." In second place, Italy has a lost-sunglasses rate of one pair per citizen per year, followed by Japan, Iceland, and Portugal with loss rates of .23, .19, and .16 respectively. more»
Military Recruiter Upset Area Man Hasn't Called Him Back

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 42•41 | 10.12.06 | News in Brief

EAST ST. LOUIS, MO—Army Staff Sergeant Declan Morris announced that he has "no idea what to think" concerning potential recruit Justin... more»
CNN Renews 'This Week At War' For Next Eight Seasons

ISSUE 47•52 ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•12 ISSUE 42•47 | 11.22.06 | News in Brief

ATLANTA—CNN officials announced that they will be carrying the popular news show This Week At War through the 2014 season. "We're... more»
Nation's Grandfathers To Receive Annual Shipment Of $2 Bills From U.S. Treasury

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 44•04 | 01.24.08 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—During a press conference Monday, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson unveiled this year's shipment of brand-new $2 bills, all of... more»
U.S. Navy Creates Cool New 'Ping' Sound

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 44•07 | 02.14.08 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—The U.S. Navy announced Monday that field tests of a cool new "ping" sound, a $3 billion project in development since the Cold War,... more»
U.S. Not Planning To Attack Iran, Says U.S. Iran War Czar

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 44•11 | 03.12.08 | News in Brief

USS STENNIS, PERSIAN GULF—U.S. Iran War Czar Gen. Glenn Jacobs, the general director of the U.S. Center of the Invasion of more»
Nation Secretly Hoping 9/11 Becomes A Day Off Soon

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 44•39 | 09.25.08 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—After spending another anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks at work, many across the country have begun to secretly hope... more»
Favorite Firecrackers

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.30.10 | Statshot
Coffee Roaster Tries To Come Up With Patriotic Blend

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 | 07.06.07 | Radio News
Report: 9 Out Of 10 Americans Can't Eat Another Bite

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•30 | 07.29.07 | Radio News
U.S. Changes Motto To 'America…We're Gonna Make Ya Smile'

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.28.10 | Radio News
Special 'Framers' Cut' Of Constitution To Feature Five Deleted Amendments

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.29.10 | Radio News
Miss Nude America Loses Title After Appearing Clothed In 'Woman's Day'

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.30.10 | Radio News
I Should Not Be Allowed To Say The Following Things About America

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 39•12 | 04.02.03 | Commentary

As Americans, we have a right to question our government and its actions. However, while there is a time to criticize, there is also a time to follow in complacent silence. And that time is now. more»
You Have Been Impregnated For National-Security Reasons

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 40•22 | 06.02.04 | Commentary

Thank you for your call, Alice. I got here as quickly as I could. Have you told anyone else? Thank God. You have no idea what a relief that is—not just for me, but for America. It is of the utmost importance that we keep this strictly between us. more»
Life In The Navy Rocks Even Harder Than The Commercial Implied

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•46 | 11.16.05 | Commentary

After I graduated from high school, I was making good money painting houses, my girlfriend was cool with a rockin' little bod, and I partied... more»
I'm Prepared To Give My Life For This Or Any Country

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•27 ISSUE 43•13 | 03.28.07 | Commentary

As a true patriot, I would gladly die in battle defending my homeland. I love my country more than my own life. But I would also be more than... more»
America Looks Like It Could Use Some Cheering Up

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 43•47 | 11.21.07 | Commentary

Something is amiss in these United States. A pall cast over the land that forebodes a looming sense of dread. The laughter of average Americans is... more»
I Love My Country–Aw, Who Am I Kidding? My Country Can Go Fuck Itself

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 44•12 | 03.19.08 | Commentary

When I look at that grand old flag, waving up there, big and proud in the breeze, my heart swells near to bursting, and a tear forms in my eye... more»
What The Hell Am I Supposed To Do With All These Constitutional Rights?

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 45•18 | 04.28.09 | Commentary

Too much of one thing can cause a person a lot of stress, and you know what's stressing me out? All these rights guaranteed to me by the U.S.... more»
June 28, 2010

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.28.10 | Editorial Cartoon
Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation's Capitol To Spare Life Of 'Twilight' Author

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.29.10 | Newsroom

ONN's Terrorism Expert Omar Al-Farouq explains how Al Qaeda's love for the beloved teen vampire series prevented the death of thousands. more»
Restoration Of 'Star Spangled Banner' Uncovers Horrifying New Verses

ISSUE 46•26 | 07.01.10 | Today Now!

Susan Eckman from The National Archives comes on Today Now! to share newly discovered National Anthem verses about brutally decapitating enemies during the War of 1812. more»
Unemployed Face Job Discrimination

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.29.08 | American Voices

More and more companies are requiring job applicants to already have a job. more»
Cartoon Pitchmen Remarkably Effective

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.28.10 | American Voices

In a recent study, 50 percent of children said that food from packages adorned with one of their favorite cartoon characters, like Dora the Explorer or SpongeBob SquarePants, tasted better than identical food from a plain package. more»
Unemployed Face Job Discrimination

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.29.10 | American Voices

More and more companies are requiring job applicants to already have a job. more»
Advertising On License Plates?

ISSUE 46•26 | 07.01.10 | American Voices

The State of California is currently considering a plan to issue digital license plates that would display advertising when a car is stopped for more than four seconds. more»
Psychopaths Behave Like Stroke Victims

ISSUE 46•26 | 07.02.10 | American Voices

A University of Wisconsin study found that when prisoners exhibiting psychopathic tendencies played decision-making games, they used the same strategies as people who had suffered strokes or brain tumors. more»
Patriotism

ISSUE 46•26 | 06.28.10 | Slideshow

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