Now that the NFL season is upon us, staying informed is more important than ever. This in-depth Onion Sports guide places all the vital information about this years' teams at your fingertips. Don't watch a single game without this useful tool!
- Strength: With stalwart Aaron Kampman at defensive end, opponents will be forced to throw at the weak secondary or run through the soft middle of their line
- Weakness: Quarterback controversy between Luke McCown and David Garrard has coaches wondering if they should even have a quarterback at all
- Player To Watch: Pro Bowl quarterback David Garrard
- Biggest Question: How totally weird was it that three different AFC quarterbacks had to get injured so David Garrard could make the Pro Bowl?
- Strength: Head coach Gary Kubiak is more than living up to his nickname as "The John Elway's Backup Of Coaching"; if quarterback Matt Schaub continues to improve at the rate he did between 2007 and 2009, he will throw for 6,000 yards and 90 touchdowns this year
- Weakness: Decision to limit injuries by not allowing players to tackle may hurt the defense; running back Steve Slaton's habit of coughing up the ball may be indicative of serious digestive issues
- Player To Watch: DE Mario Williams, three-time winner of the Associated Press "Team's Only Good Player" award
- Intangibles: None, as the Texans continue to be a manifestly corporeal team
- Strength: Questions about Vince Young's emotional well-being put to rest by presence of mentally stable backup Kerry Collins
- Weakness: Jeff Fisher took a big chance by signing three kick returners with phobias of things falling toward them from great heights
- Intangibles: Running back Chris Johnson must abandon his selfish pursuit of the single-season rushing record and concentrate on piling up yards for his team
- Biggest Question: The Titans secondary must face Tony Romo, Donovan McNabb, and both Mannings this year; will they be able to keep themselves from attempting to get their autographs during games?
- Strength: Peyton Manning
- Weakness: Standout back Joseph Addai, dangerous receiver Reggie Wayne, and brilliant defensive end Dwight Freeney are not Peyton Manning
- Player To Watch: Safety Bob Sanders until he gets injured in week four, then Peyton Manning
- Biggest Question: Why is this consistently excellent team so unbelievably boring to watch?