WASHINGTON—Thousands thronged the docks of the capital seaport last week to watch as Congressmen boarded galleys and set sail in search of the Lost ...

BLOOMINGTON, IN—A new study released Monday by sociologists at Indiana University found that women will always answer their telephones unless mind-blowing sex with a ...

MONESSEN, PA—Recreational cyclist Ethan Coseglia, 38, thoroughly explained the benefits of wearing $35 bike-riding socks to his friend Kevin Washburn Friday, saying that his ...

NEW YORK—While explaining they were cognizant that no interstellar portals exist in real life, New York Comic Con attendees voiced frustrations Sunday after seeing ...

PORTLAND, OR—Local couple Rich and Kelly Danvers were "delighted" Monday upon discovering a small, quaint retail location in their neighborhood that sells cakes.

COPIAPO, CHILE—With their rescue imminent, the conversation of the 33 miners trapped in the Copiapó copper and gold mine turned to how hilarious it ...

CHICAGO—The art world let out a collective sigh of relief Tuesday when it was announced that thieves had made off with one of Pierre-Auguste ...

WASHINGTON—A federal probe revealed Friday that at least six U.S. border guards have been caught on tape attempting to boost arrests by planting ...

LA GRANGE, IL—Area man Brian Classon attended his 25-year nursery school reunion on Friday and told reporters he had a great time reconnecting with ...

NEW YORK—According to Friday's official injury report, there are only three players in the National Football League not currently suffering from some form ...

President Barack Obama announced that he was putting solar panels on the roof of the White House in order to lead by example in the ...

Aries You will be torn between two equally worthy suitors, one who is kind, selfless, outgoing, supportive, and loving, and one who is attractive. Taurus ...

MIAMI—After much deliberation, members of the MiamiHeat.com web team decided today that the featured homepage image should depict Miami Heat small forward LeBron ...

NEW YORK—Yankees manager Joe Girardi admitted to reporters Wednesday that he still had doubts that starter CC Sabathia could muster the energy and strength ...

DENVER—Upon overhearing visitors to the Broncos training facility inquire about third-string quarterback Brady Quinn, a young but grizzled Brady Quinn was seen to lean ...

BRISTOL, CT—Lazy ESPN.com editors posted the poll question "Do you like sports?" on the website's homepage yesterday, offering "yes" or "no" as ...

NEW YORK—NFL spokesman Greg Aiello announced Monday that, after years of deliberation, NFL team owners will vote on the proposed construction of a second ...

Though undeniably talented, Brett Favre has made a habit of getting into strange situations. We look at some of his more remarkable exploits.

These vaunted and generally despised AFC rivals meet in what looks to be both the best and the least sympathetic game of Week 6.

In The Know panelists discuss Obama's failure to repair Americans' Bush-era reputation overseas as drunken belligerent assholes vomiting on ancient treasures.

After numerous complaints that the new biodegradable Sun Chips bag was "too noisy," Frito Lay announced that it was returning to the original packaging.

Four states—Tennessee, Virginia, Georgia, and Arizona—have recently passed laws explicitly allowing licensed gun owners to bring concealed handguns into bars with them.

In an apparent attempt to distance himself from the policies of President Obama, West Virginia Senate candidate Joe Manchin appears in his latest campaign ad ...

Four Nordic countries, including Iceland, Norway, Finland, and Sweden, topped a recent survey ranking nations for gender equality.

An adult film actor's positive HIV test led porn producers Vivid Entertainment and Wicked Pictures to halt filming while other actors get tested.

The vice president hopes the American women can join him for a discussion of the Middle Class Relief Act and some of his famous braised ...