ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world's most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past ...

DAYTON, OH—What was intended as a routine first date went horribly awry Tuesday night as local man Kevin Parker, 29, could do little more ...

LOS ANGELES—According to reports, 29-year-old online commentator Caroline Shelham is somehow not completely ashamed of her own well-established identity as a "pop culture expert."

OAK BROOK, IL—Confirming their intention not to wait until the last minute the way they usually do, executives at Visatex Inc.

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama returned from a recent diplomatic visit to India with several boxes of these disgusting candies that taste, smell, and look really ...

HOUSTON—Seven minds were blown Monday when employees of Houston Seed and Supply opened an e-mail containing a row of asterisks, a groundbreaking textual embellishment ...

STROUDSBURG, PA—An oil portrait of Jesus Christ bearing what turned out to be a rare autograph of the Son of God was purchased for ...

PORTLAND, OR—Regal Lloyd Center 10 Cinema employee Justine Terrin told reporters Friday that a customer had deeply hurt her feelings by complaining aloud about ...

The chairmen of a bipartisan panel on reducing the federal budget deficit have outlined a proposal that, among other things, calls for boosting the federal ...

Aries: It's very principled of you, not to mention brave, to stand by your beliefs, but by week's end you'll have graphically ...

OKLAHOMA CITY—Following a 109-103 victory over the Philadelphia 76ers last Wednesday, fourth-year player Kevin Durant accidentally revealed one of the NBA's most carefully ...

EDEN PRAIRIE, MN—Though Vikings quarterback Brett Favre confirmed his ailing right shoulder was "no big deal right now" and that the broken bones in ...

MIAMI—After struggling to find his rhythm during the two plays he actually spent on the field last Sunday, Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington finally looked ...

DURHAM, NC—The sudden appearance of photos of Duke basketball players in national newspapers—as well as video of the school's marching band and ...

ORLANDO, FL—Following his team's 89-72 victory over the Memphis Grizzlies Monday, Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy struggled to characterize the victory ...

KANSAS CITY, MO—Local fans admitted today they have no clue why they desperately want a former star player to manage their favorite team next ...

Hosting a large dinner is always stressful, but when it's a family gathering for a holiday like Thanksgiving, it can be downright excruciating. Here ...

John Madden's Thanksgiving tradition of awarding turkey legs to the day's top players has inspired other sportscasters to hand out honors of their ...

FC Dallas, a soccer team, will face the Colorado Rapids, a soccer team, in Toronto for this year's MLS Cup, a soccer championship. Here ...

The Onion News Network, the most popular 24-hour cable news network in America, is coming to IFC in January 2011.

People magazine reported that former president Bill Clinton would appear in the sequel to the popular Todd Phillips comedy The Hangover.

According to a study from the UCLA, zero percent of children who were raised by a lesbian couple reported being victims of physical or sexual ...

The engagement of Prince William to his longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton was announced Tuesday. What do you think?

Medical professionals are currently deciding whether using the HPV vaccine to decrease the risk of certain cancers in boys is worth the cost of the ...

Dear The Onion, I know your etiquette column said 20 percent is an appropriate amount to tip for good service, but I've realized that ...

Hey Guys, When I interned there a few years ago, I taped a piece of paper with all my passwords and stuff underneath the top ...

President Obama's proposed high-speed train system will be replaced with a fleet of buses that will rocket along highways at speeds up to 165 ...