"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

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Issue 4703

In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather. Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the netwo...

Is Christian Bale too cruel to run North Korea?

Human Rights Watch is already protesting Christian Bale's appointment as the leader of North Korea after he recently acted out on set by snapping at a cinematographer and then kidnapping two American journalists in his trailer.

Stevenson Trial Courtroom Sketches

Courtroom sketches depict 16-year-old Hanah Stevenson, who stands accused of murder. Citing the severeness of her crime, a judge today ordered Stevenson to be tried as a black adult.

Arizona Proposes Stricter Sex-Offender Rules

With California's recent announcement that registered sex offenders will be required to wear lightly tinted sunglasses and denim cutoff shorts, many states are following suit with even stricter dress codes.

WB Press Release Details Batman Movie

In what is being described as a "foreign policy game-changer," North Korean leader Kim Jong Il will give up his nation's nuclear program in exchange for the lead role in the next Batman film.

Rex Ryan

He may trash-talk endlessly, but the outspoken Jets coach has backed it up by taking his team to the AFC Championship Game. Is he any good?

Winona Ryder Finally Agrees To Sleep With Generation X

LOS ANGELES—After being a subject of Generation X desire for the better part of two decades, actress Winona Ryder announced Tuesday that she had finally conceded to having intercourse with every interested member within that age group.

New Parenting Book Sparks Outrage

Last week, Penguin Press published Amy Chua's book Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother, which criticizes "Western" parenting and advocates an "Asian" approach that includes forbidding playdates and being highly critical of children in order to make them more successful. Here are some other tips from the book.

Remembering Allison Pencey

Allison Pencey was profiled in the Wish Zone this week, a young Phillies fan whose burning hatred for and inspired heckling of Mets 3B David Wright kept her alive far longer than her terminal cancer should have allowed. It says something of her heart and...

Get To Know The OSN Girlfriend Analysts

Brenda Kenyon -Boyfriend: Dominick Mirk -Length of Relationship: 1 year, 10 months -How Do You Feel About Sports: "They really are tremendous athletes, and I love how they play hard. I LOVE ...

All Hail The Toad!

Hey OSNation! The Toad is BACK in 2011 and he's slinging predictions like he's running out of fish heads! Go ahead and double check his picks at your own peril; the Toad senses doubt and he will absolutely spew ink all over anyone that doesn't respect his...

Congress Honors 9/11 First Capitalizers

Recognizes Those Who Rushed To Cash In On Tragedy

WASHINGTON—In an act that many are calling long overdue, Congress passed legislation this week to honor those Americans who were first on the scene to profit from the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001.

U.S. Renews Contract With Spotted Ground Squirrels Through 2015

WASHINGTON—The Department of the Interior announced this week that ongoing negotiations with the nation's population of spotted ground squirrels have been resolved and that the rodents are now contracted to continue activities on U.S. soil through Dec. 31, 2015.
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"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out

The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their losing streak… and the case?

Episode 2: Revenge Out Of Left Field

A dark figure from Wally's past comes back for revenge. The Arrows' skipper put him away when he was FBI but now this demented former mobster is back for revenge, having won a spot as a DH on the Stallions. Brimford is on two different dates at once.

Episode 3: In A Pinch

Wally lifts Sampson for Fell even though Sampson kills lefties… has he actually killed another one? Masters goes to bat for his platooned teammate, but even he has his suspicions. Joel McHale guest stars.

Episode 4: Framed On The Outside Corner

Scott Masters has had his problems with Wally Wright in the past… but is he a killer? Masters doesn't think so, and now he has to race against the clock or his manager gets a lethal injection on the field. Brimford's mother-in-law is emasculating him.

Episode 5: Extra Killings

It's the longest game of the season and Arrows are dropping like flies. Who's killing everyone? Pitching coach Al Jeffers has a theory, but that long walk to the pitcher's mound may take away those precious seconds he needs.