Carlos Beltran Has Impressive Day Of Not Falling Apart And Dying

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Issue 4710

How To Become An Internet Music Sensation

More and more, bands are recording, releasing, and promoting their music at home using their own computers. Here are some ways a burgeoning musician can make a splash on the Internet.

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CHICAGO—Fifteen-year veteran NHL official Michael Lussenhop confirmed in an interview Sunday that the most satisfying part of his job is when he's backed into a corner and has to grab the boards to leap over the puck to keep from interfering with th...

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Carlos Beltran Has Impressive Day Of Not Falling Apart And Dying

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran, whose past several seasons have been hampered by nagging injuries, had a successful outing Monday, managing to get through a spring training workout without crumbling into a pile of dust and dying. "It was one of his best days in years, because he was still breathing and alive by the end," Mets manager Terry Collins said during a press conference, adding that he was amazed with Beltran's ability to pump blood from his heart to other parts of his body for a whole session of batting practice. "If he's able to take this into the regular season and maybe live for 100 games, that's a big win for this organization." At press time, Mets trainers had confirmed that Beltran had indeed just died.

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