Supreme Court Ruling Gives Fans The Right To Act Like Total Assholes At Games

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Issue 4713

Eating Locally

The locavore movement—in which people eat food produced near their home to reduce their carbon footprint—is getting more and more popular. Here are some ways you can do more to eat locally.

Cooking For Large Groups

As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people.

Area Dad Off To Bad Start With Waitress

BETHEL, PA—Following an awkward exchange in which Tom Richardson flagged down their server for "a round of waters" mere seconds after being seated, family members confirmed Sunday the 56-year-old father of three was off to a rough start wi...

Study: 38 Age It Too Late

BALTIMORE—After years of observing people in their late 30s to early 40s, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have determined that once an individual reaches 38 years of age it is too late to make any meaningful life changes.

Man Wakes Up From Bender With Financial Problems Solved

EUGENE, OR—Though he has only the haziest memories of what happened between the time he left work Friday evening and woke up late Sunday afternoon, marketing associate Ben Taylor told reporters today that during his 36-hour drinking binge, he somehow managed to sort out his entire financial situation.
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Supreme Court Ruling Gives Fans The Right To Act Like Total Assholes At Games

In an 8-1 decision, the Court found that buying a ticket is license to boo, swear and throw beer at whomever fans please at a sporting event, on the grounds that anyone who doesn't like it can stay home, and those tickets pay for the players' salaries, so who are they to complain?

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