MOSCOW, USSR—Less than a week after the return of the Atlantis orbiter marked the end of the U.S.

WASHINGTON—With lawmakers still at an impasse over increasing the debt ceiling, a special team of 40 eighth-grade civics teachers was air-dropped into Washington earlier ...

WASHINGTON—In a 30-minute video released Thursday, al- Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri criticized the mass transportation infrastructure of the United States, claiming significant repairs and ...

SOMERVILLE, MA—After living with roommates for the better part of a decade, local woman Anne Lazar announced Tuesday she was excited to finally experience ...

MUSCATINE, IA—Local teen Brian Lemire, who reports indicate is by far the most bizarre person within his age group anywhere in America, purchased a ...

NEW YORK—Citing self-consciousness, an inability to let loose, and a knee-jerk tendency to rely on irony in personally vulnerable social situations, local wedding reception ...

WASHINGTON—Sitting patiently in their chairs with their nappies on their lappies, the residents of the United States announced Wednesday they were ready for their ...

WOODBURY, MN—Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann fired back Wednesday at critics who have said the Minnesota congresswoman's ability to lead the nation would ...

NEW YORK—The History Channel announced Thursday it will air a new documentary this fall examining the life of the late husband of prewar German ...

WASHINGTON—Shortly after 3 p.m. today, the Federal Aviation Administration ordered the immediate grounding of all commercial and private aircraft, a result of top ...

According to scientists, flooding and wet weather have led to unusually high mosquito populations this summer, and the accompanying heat wave has resulted in numerous ...

Aries One of the worst moments of a person's life is when they finally realize that they're mortal and are going to die ...

MINNEAPOLIS—Cleveland Indians manager Manny Acta and pitcher Justin Masterson said they "shared a great baseball moment…a great human moment" while splitting a bottle ...

WASHINGTON—Following the announcement Monday that NFL owners and players had reached a deal to end their 132-day labor dispute, Americans across the nation expressed ...

SANDWICH, ENGLAND—Following another tournament meltdown Sunday, the world’s sixth-ranked golfer Phil Mickelson joked to reporters at the British Open about missing a two-foot ...

PITTSBURGH—Finding themselves six games over .500 and vying for first place in the National League Central Division, members of the Pittsburgh Pirates organization are ...

NEW YORK—According to sources around the league, the New York Yankees have held discussions with multiple teams about All-Star second baseman Robinson Cano, specifically ...

ORLANDO, FL—In an effort to prepare for his new analyst job on TNT’s Inside The NBA, 15-time All-Star center Shaquille O’Neal has ...

MINNEAPOLIS—The fourth-place Minnesota Twins finally came to realize baseball teams can score more than one run in a single play when, in the fifth ...

NEW YORK—Baseball experts agreed Thursday that the 2011 MLB season has become a year defined by pitching, hitting, and defense.

No one expected fun-loving Darren Clarke to win the British Open, but the Guinness-and-cigarettes-loving Irishman took his first major at the age of 42.

The new law will remove restrictions on cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol as well as provide tax incentives for seniors who bungee jump off of cliffs.

Celebrity Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for using an actress that looks like her in an ad. What do you think?

A law passed in Los Angeles makes it illegal for motorists to harass bicyclists verbally or physically.

Elliot Handler, the co-founder of the company that introduced Barbie dolls and Hot Wheels cars, died Thursday at age 95.

The patents of six of the 10 bestselling prescription drugs will expire over the next two years, making room for cheaper generic equivalents.

Amid accusations he sexually assaulted an 18-year-old, Rep. David Wu (D-OR) announced he would resign as soon as debt-ceiling negotiations were complete.

Watchdog group the Parents Television Council has accused NBC of glorifying pornography with its new program The Playboy Club, which debuts in September.

For some reason, climatologists have been running around in an agitated state, waving their little arms and squawking about "global warming."