Grizzled Proofreader Has Seen It Written Both Ways

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Issue 4732

Seeing Eye Dog Really Blows Off Some Steam In Dog Park

FORT COLLINS, CO—From the moment he was let loose in a local dog park Saturday, golden retriever and licensed Seeing Eye dog Biscuit reportedly blew off some steam by jumping up to lick people's faces, urinating on smaller dogs, and chasing almost e...

Obama Proposes Tax Increase On Meanest 2% Of Population

WASHINGTON—In the latest administration initiative meant to reassure citizens nervous about the slow pace of economic recovery, President Obama proposed a tax hike this week for the shittiest, most self-absorbed 2 percent of Americans.

Laffy Taffy Sponsors Every Cobblestone At 9/11 Memorial

NEW YORK—The makers of Laffy Taffy, a chewy fruit-flavored candy known for the lighthearted jokes printed on each wrapper, announced Tuesday they would pay tribute to the victims of 9/11 by sponsoring every single cobblestone at the World Trade Cent...

Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 09, 2011

Aries The Virgin Mary will appear in a dream and tell you to go forth in the world to help the poor and needy, causing you to wake up screaming in a cold sweat. Taurus Your crude and primitive sense of humor will offend ...

Budweiser Can Sports New Look

Budweiser, the second-bestselling beer in the United States, is giving its can a new design featuring red, blue, and gold motif.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.