BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN—Hailed as a monumental step toward equality by gay rights activists, hundreds of Dear John letters reportedly began reaching newly outed troops overseas ...

RENTON, WA—Local man Paul Campbell confirmed Saturday he was raising his daughter Emma on a variety of media carefully selected to help her cultivate ...

NEW YORK—Claiming it would be totally fine by them, the nation's girlfriends assured reporters Tuesday that if a new BBC miniseries remake of ...

BROOKLINE, MA—By all outward indications, Derek Nesbitt and his girlfriend of eight months, Shawna Morrero, never have sex, baffled roommate Max Wirsing reported Tuesday.

COLUMBIA, SC—Calling the devastation "heartbreaking and appalling," President Barack Obama toured South-Carolina-ravaged South Carolina Tuesday, vowing never to turn his back on the 4 ...

BUFFALO, NY—Residents in a downtown apartment questioned the goals and motives of the bugs infesting their home this week after watching cockroaches wander aimlessly ...

NEW YORK—Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's highly anticipated annual address to the U.N. General Assembly ended in tragedy today when an onstage pyrotechnics mishap left ...

SEATTLE—With his wife away on a research trip for the Gates Foundation, Microsoft founder Bill Gates spent $56 million on Amazon in a single ...

MINNEAPOLIS—Saying that Lucky Charms is "as magically delicious as ever but now lower in magically saturated fats," General Mills announced Friday it would begin ...

Since announcing his American Jobs Act in a speech before Congress this month, President Obama has been traveling the country to promote the plan.

Aries: Unfortunately for your personal philosophy, it turns out the free market has yet to come up with a truly effective way to just go ...

NEW YORK, NY – September 22, 2012 – Following record-breaking ratings for Ashton Kutcher's premiere on CBS's Two And A Half Men this week, a ...

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—With warm welcomes and loud exclamations of relief from his Rays teammates, Tampa Bay outfielder B.J. Upton was greeted at home ...

THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH—The Lord our God, Divine Creator and Ruler of the Universe, made a statement Thursday in which He condemned the ...

NEW YORK—Following a demoralizing 14-28 loss to the Redskins Sunday in which he threw an interception and no touchdowns, Giants quarterback Eli Manning attempted ...

SEATTLE—Seahawks coach Pete Carroll said in a press conference Friday that the Seahawks would be one of the biggest surprises of the 2011 season ...

COLUMBUS, IN—Members of the New Albany Bulldogs high school football team reportedly returned to East Stafford Stadium in the dead of night Friday and ...

WASHINGTON--A report released Monday by the National Sleep Foundation revealed that most Major League Baseball players swallow as many as six baseballs per year while ...

BUFFALO, NY—Following their thrilling 38-35 week-two victory over the Oakland Raiders Sunday, the Buffalo Bills expressed confusion over what the hell they were supposed ...

The FBI is investigating the source of nude photos that were allegedly hacked from actress Scarlett Johansson's phone.

High-ranking Republicans, including chairman of the House Budget Committee Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), have spoken out against President Obama's proposed minimum tax rate for ...

In an attempt to rebound from the public relations disaster of the company's poorly-rolled-out price increases, Netflix announced that its newly separate DVD service ...

A defunct 6-and-a-half-ton climate satellite is scheduled to crash into Earth on Friday, though scientists can't tell exactly when or where just yet.

Brooke takes time out of her busy schedule to answer viewer questions in a totally casual -- not because the network coerced her into pretending to ...

New diet pill, Hallucex, yields tremendous results in curbing appetite by tricking patients into thinking their food has turned into a horrifying, bloodthirsty demon. 

See Brooke when the cameras aren’t on her: casual, in lounge clothes, being "real," hopefully gaining higher ratings with her "realness," and answering even ...

The nation turns to our poet laureate for solace, General Mills releases a new line of Lucky Charms with 15% less leprechaun meat, and the ...

ABC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT A traffic jam on the 405 forces producers to come up with an impromptu fix: an ...

Discovery 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT It takes a Texan to really pick a bouquet of flowers in the Matanuska Valley.

PBS 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC You cannot make fun of your parents for watching this inoffensive, PBS-friendly British import and start ...

This GOOMF is a mouthful of Sour Fish for Doc Brooks, who regurgitates a big hunk of Notre Dame and opines on the sexiness of ...

Win Puts 49ers On Pace For 1-15 Season

 Eagles Live Up To Hype By Defeating Super Bowl Champs From 12 Years Ago

 Every Player On Buffalo Bills Roster Asks His Girlfriend To Marry Him After Opening Week Win

Nadal, Djokovic Matchup Makes Nation Feel Literally Nothing

Sadistic Coach: 'You Love To See Injuries Like That'

INDIANAPOLIS—At a press event held Wednesday in the main conference room of the downtown Hyatt Regency, Indianapolis mayor Greg Ballard publicly announced his city ...