CORAL GABLES, FL—According to a report released Monday by a group of environmental researchers, all the good seashells worth picking up and bringing home have already been taken, a development that threatens the very future of shell collection regionally.
Congress passes a law requiring every U.S. dog to wear a neckerchief, a report shows that your mother is silently weeping about you right now, and an actor sometimes feels silly pretending to be somebody else. It's the week of October 10th, 2011.
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—During an introduction to another man at a party Friday night, local resident Mike Greenly was reportedly blindsided by a high-speed handshake that plunged in at an angle of nearly 90 degrees.
MALIBU, CA—Calling the process of acting as though you are someone you are not a "pretty ridiculous thing to do," actor Ed Harris, 60, admitted to reporters Tuesday that he frequently feels silly pretending to be another person.
AUSTIN, TX—Texas restaurant owners voiced concerns Friday over the recent decision of state prison officials to end last meals for death row inmates, claiming the ban would decimate a substantial portion of their industry's revenues.
JACKSONVILLE, FL—The only post on JagsBoard, a dedicated Jacksonville Jaguars fan page on which even spambots have not bothered to post, is an unanswered question from 2003 asking for help getting to the team’s stadium, sources confirmed Monday.
WASHINGTON—With gasoline prices dropping a full 26 cents from where they were a month ago, a new era of confidence and hope washed over Americans this week, confirming the United States is once again the greatest nation in the world.
STOCKHOLM—The annual announcement of Nobel Prize winners was once again marred by vandalism this year, with triumphant fans of the 2011 laureates mobbing Stockholm streets last week, breaking shop windows and setting bonfires as they celebrated rema...
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—In the wake of the watershed decision granting them the right to vote in the 2015 elections, Saudi women have received their husbands' explicit consent to rejoice, sources reported Wednesday.
EVERYWHERE—The country's brothers-in-law released a statement Tuesday announcing their unparalleled desire to receive an expertly written, tangible anthology of sports and sports-culture journalism for Christmas.
NEW YORK—Sources close to the Jets offensive line confirmed the players have enrolled in a continuing education course on pass blocking, attending their first class Monday at Hunter College to receive basic instruction on quarterback protection.
WASHINGTON—Cutting short its Columbus Day recess, Congress held a special emergency session this weekend to push through comprehensive legislation requiring every dog in the United States to wear a neckerchief, with both parties hailing the outcome as a "major step forward for the nation" and "downright adorable."
DETROIT—At a gala ceremony in the heart of the city’s downtown, Detroit’s civic and business leaders unveiled a new half-ton, 400-horsepower Motown singer Thursday that promises safety, reliability, and soulful, unmistakable melodies.
MANCHESTER, CT—According to bored and increasingly irritated sources currently sitting at lane 8 of Manchester Family Bowl, Nick Morwood’s fourteenth birthday party has now dragged on into a fifth excruciating hour.
UNITED STATES—In cities across the nation, thousands of sports fans rallied together this weekend to demand the world provide them with something to purchase for $21.99, ideally something that would offer immediate enjoyment in addition to providing long-term keepsake value.
MINNEAPOLIS—In a press conference Thursday, Minnesota head coach Leslie Frazier made it clear Donovan McNabb would remain the team’s quarterback for the foreseeable future, as Frazier and every other person in the Vikings organization completely despises the 12-year veteran and enjoys nothing more than seeing him fail.