WASHINGTON—In what is being advertised as a bombshell cultural event certain to spark a storm of controversy nationwide, publisher HarperCollins has released this week ...

WATERLOO, IA—Saying it was one of the few times the elected official had opted to show his face in the area all year, disheartened ...

WINNEMUCCA, NV—Eight-year-old Ella Neumark said Saturday that in recent weeks she has become increasingly aware of how her adorable physical characteristics make her superior ...

PALO ALTO, CA—In its ongoing effort to enrich the way people connect and interact, social media website Facebook introduced a new feature Monday that ...

SALT LAKE CITY—With a recent Gallup poll indicating only 2 percent of his party supports his candidacy for president, Jon Huntsman confided to staffers ...

NEW YORK—Local shell of a man Joel Marsden said Wednesday that, absolutely, he'd be happy to take care of your cat while you ...

NORMAL, IL—According to the Center for the Study of Education Policy at Illinois State University, an increasing number of recent college graduates unable to ...

NAPERVILLE, IL—Displaying levels of human concentration usually reserved for deciphering military codes or performing cardiac surgery, airplane passenger Amber Reyson, 37, spent several minutes ...

Apple's iPod, the MP3 player that revolutionized portable digital music, turned 10 recently. Here are some high points from the device's decade of ...

Aries Next week will see you at the front of a ragtag band of orphans, but that shouldn't surprise you, as you've been ...

QUECHEE, VT—The maple tree in town square went into dormancy knowing it had given tourists absolutely everything it had during foliage season.

ABBEVILLE, MS—Farmer Gary Stangler has painstakingly spelled out his marriage proposal in alfalfa seed and is hoping to meet a nice lady by springtime.

ROCKVILLE, MD—Shit, Dave Pratt's new girlfriend snores.

NEW HAVEN, CT—The widow Chamberlain is paying for her newspaper with her deceased husband's silver-dollar collection again.

 HOUSTON—Jane Miller, 27, brought home her New York boyfriend and warned him her family's racism was extremely stereotypical.

$34.90 (+$0.72) (+ 2.1%) The financial world was shaken today when CEO Jamie Dimon stated that the Occupy Wall Street movement had significantly ...

NEW YORK—Giants running back Brandon Jacobs was reportedly furious with coaches following a team meeting Tuesday, loudly expressing his displeasure and demanding more yards ...

There are times when you have exercised all other options to resolve a difference, and vengeance is your sole remaining alternative.

Life doesn't always go the way you plan. Sometimes, an obstacle comes along—be it at work, in your home life, or elsewhere—that ...

According to the United Nations, the population of Earth will reach 7 billion today. What do you think?

A chemical compound in black licorice has been found to lower potassium in the blood and may cause irregular heartbeats.

Claiming one of its members has been kidnapped by Mexico’s Zetas cartel, the hacker group Anonymous has threatened to publish names, photos, and addresses ...

Records show that in 2008, overdose deaths from painkillers surged to 15,000, more than from heroin and cocaine combined.

Hours before publishing a depiction of the Prophet Muhammad on its cover, the French satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo had its offices firebombed.

Global greenhouse gas emissions saw their biggest single-year jump ever between 2009 and 2010, exceeding worst-case scenario projections with an increase of 564 million tons.

Dear The Onion, I need to make a change to that poem I sent you last week. On line 86, "our final request" should be ...

Award-winning news anchor, Brooke Alvarez explains why she doesn't have time to go on a show as frivolous as "Dancing with the Stars", but ...

Brooke Alvarez's icy demeanor is finally explained in a new documentary on public television detailing her dark childhood as a Russian girl cosmonaut locked ...

President Obama puts the U.S. economy in the hands of the geniuses behind Zico coconut water, who must know what they're doing because ...

President Obama releases a new tell-all book about America, a cute eight-year-old is beginning to realize how much better she is than ugly girls, and ...

MTV 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST Neal, Brad, and Paul have a long day ahead of them at the coffee shop but ...

NBC 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST The central Caucasian couple doesn't see eye to eye on a particular Caucasian matter, resulting ...

ABC 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST In this new spin-off premiering tonight, they don't have time for her entire anatomy, so ...

AMC 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST The gang begins to turn on one another amid suspicions one of them might secretly be ...

Junior Beckett Crisp will finally tell senior Sarah Holmes how he feels about her in an extravagant and over-the-top manner Friday morning in the quad.

Autumn Hamjo workshop: The hamjo is a scintillating Scandinavian spinning dance. Two hours of instruction, followed by an hour of hamjoing to the best live ...

The Greensboro Friend of Gays and Lesbians Group will be expanded to include an "s" on the end of "Friend," as the group now has ...

This week, the Dolphins can't shake their obsession with a waitress, Kevin Kolb tries out a more forgiving profession, and the popular sport of ...