The Week In Pictures

In This Section

Issue 4748

In Theory

Showtime 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST Adventurous philosophy professor Jane Theory is a sexual dynamo whose intellectual musings during intercourse help her many partners reach epiphanies and orgasms they never dreamed possible.

Cain Drops Out

After a Georgia woman came forward and claimed she had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain, the former Godfather's Pizza CEO announced he would suspend his campaign for the presidency.

Wife Hoarders

A&E 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST It’s nearly impossible to wade through the stacks and stacks of wives from the 1970s that Alan has stored in his living room.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

The Week In Pictures

Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police'
Read Full Article
High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos
Read Full Article
U.S. Adds 4 Million Jobs But In St. Louis
Read Full Article
'Please Stop Calling Me Big Baby,' Says Glen 'Pencil Dick' Davis
Read Full Article
Brooke Alvarez Explains Why There Are So Many People In Prison
Read Full Article
Osprey Devours Lion In Massive Food-Chain Shake-Up
Read Full Article
Parents Honor Dead Son's Memory By Keeping Up His Awful Blog
Read Full Article
Hedo Turkoglu Somehow Comes Out Of Lockout $50 Million Richer
Read Full Article
Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous
Read Full Article
Ford Looks Down On Website That Would Let Itself Be Plastered In Ford's Ads
Read Full Article
Court Rules Meryl Streep Unable To Be Tried By Jury As She Has No Peers
Read Full Article
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More